Monthly Archives: August 2017

Eucharistia

Eucharistia (eu-cha-ris’-ti-a): Giving thanks for a benefit received, sometimes adding one’s inability to repay.

X: Thank you so much for the new lawnmower! There’s no way I can repay you.

Y: If that’s the case I’m taking it back. I was expecting you to mow my lawn once a week without fail.

X: Then, take your damn lawnmower back! What do I look like, your indentured servant?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Euche

Euche (yoo’-kay): A vow to keep a promise.

ME: I promise to keep my promise to you.

YOU: But what about your promise to keep your promise?

ME: I promise to keep my promise to keep my promise to you.

YOU: But what about your promise to keep your promise to keep your promise to keep your promise?

ME: The hell with it. You’re just going to have to trust me.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Eulogia

Eulogia (eu-lo’-gi-a): Pronouncing a blessing for the goodness in a person.

You are one of the most amazing people in the world! Thank-you for everything you have done for me! I didn’t really know what insider trading was until we started doing business together! Bless you forever. 

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Eustathia

Eustathia (yoos-tay’-thi-a): Promising constancy in purpose and affection.

ME: I will never leave you. I will always be by your side. I will not abandon you. I’m here forever. You can count on me. I’m yours until the end of time. I will never let you down. I’m your knight in . . .

YOU: Wait! Hold on! Stop!

What are you some kind out-of-control cliche machine?

If you want ME to stick around, cool it with the faithfulness BS and act like a normal person.

ME: Your wish is my command.

YOU: This is your last chance: kill the cliches or I’m going home.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Eutrepismus

Eutrepismus (eu-tre-pis’-mus): Numbering and ordering the parts under consideration. A figure of division, and of ordering.

There are three reasons for getting rid of our current Chief Executive:

1. He’s incompetent.

2. He’s hopelessly incompetent.

3. He’s really incompetent.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Exergasia

Exergasia (ex-er-ga’-si-a): Repetition of the same idea, changing either its words, its delivery, or the general treatment it is given. A method for amplification, variation, and explanation. As such, exergasia compares to the progymnasmata exercises (rudimentary exercises intended to prepare students of rhetoric for the creation and performance of complete practice orations).

Where are we headed? Up? Down? All around? One night it’s Mr. Teleprompter. Another night it’s Wild Don. Two different ways of making messages, plus two different messages.

Where are we headed? Up? Down? All around? It seems we have a President who is two-faced. His messages in tone and content seem to contradict themselves. Where positions collide, you can’t believe either. If you try to believe both, you’ll go nuts.

The consensus seems to be that Wild Don is the actual Don and that Mr. Teleprompter is fake.

So, where are we headed? Up? Down? All around? I say all of the above as we ride a not so merry merry-go-round into an uncertain and frightening future.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Exouthenismos

Exouthenismos (ex-ou-then-is’-mos): An expression of contempt.

Being near you makes me want to puke. I look at you close-up and think about what you’ve done to my country–the harm is palpable throughout the world. You are not well-respected by other world leaders (they make fun of you). You have shown your tacit support for racism.  You have told huge whoppers, and much, much more. Why don’t you just get in a golf cart and drive into the sunset, pick up a cab, go to the airport, put on a disguise, and fly home to New York City?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Expeditio

Expeditio (ex-pe-di’-ti-o): After enumerating all possibilities by which something could have occurred, the speaker eliminates all but one (=apophasis). Although the Ad Herennium author lists expeditio as a figure, it is more properly considered a method of argument [and pattern of organization] (sometimes known as the “Method of Residues” when employed in refutation[, and “Elimination Order” when employed to organize a speech. The reference to ‘method’ hearkens back to the Ramist connection between organizational patterns of discourses and organizational pattern of arguments]).

Why did you vote for Donald Trump?

1. You thought he could get things done?

2. You thought he was going to make life better for you?

or

3. He is honest and trustworthy?

Three strikes! He has turned out to be none of the above. Just read the papers!

(Oh, that’s right–the truth is fake news.)

Maybe you need to reassess your motives and prepare for the next election! There are actually politicians who exemplify the virtues you are looking for. Look for those politicians! Vote for those politicians. Forget about Trump. He is a big phony.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text by Gorgias.

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Exuscitatio

Exuscitatio (ex-us-ci-ta’-ti-o): Stirring others by one’s own vehement feeling (sometimes by means of a rhetorical question, and often for the sake of exciting anger).

Does anybody out there have a brain? Every day we listen to President Trump, or read his Tweets, hoping for something that instills confidence in his leadership. Instead we get words worthy of a dumpster.

Why is this happening? Is it on purpose? Is it some kind of rude trick? I’m sick of it and want it to stop. The big question is: How do we make it stop? I think we need to wait for the next presidential election, unless impeachment’s a possibility (which it isn’t).

Anyway, in the meantime we should organize under “Stop the Stupid Trump Talk” and see what kind of difference we might make.

Who’s with me? Ivanka? Jared?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Gnome

Gnome (nome or no’-mee): One of several terms describing short, pithy sayings. Others include adageapothegmmaximparoemiaproverb, and sententia.

Knowlege is power, but it won’t run a table saw.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Graecismus

Graecismus (gree-kis’-mus): Using Greek words, examples, or grammatical structures. Sometimes considered an affectation of erudition.

My enthymemes tend toward the topos of antitheses. I believe the dissoi logoi rightfully capture the episteme of rhetorical decision making.  That is, if there is only one side able to be considered, a decision cannot be made, although adherence to the ‘one side’ will enable movement toward the future and provide the illusion of krisis.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Hendiadys

Hendiadys (hen-di’-a-dis): Expressing a single idea by two nouns [joined by a conjunction] instead of a noun and its qualifier. A method of amplification that adds force.

I’m lonely and mad. I wish I could have a bunch of friends and pals. I guess I need to deal with my anger before I will have a bunch of friends and pals–or maybe having a bunch of friends and pals would make my anger go away–damn and double-damn: I’m stuck and frustrated!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

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Heterogenium

Heterogenium (he’-ter-o-gen-i-um): Avoiding an issue by changing the subject to something different. Sometimes considered a vice.

News Reporter: Some people believe that having Steve Bannon on your staff is a sign of your tacit support for his his “alt-right” politics which have been characterized as a sort of white-supremacist nationalism. Given that, and recent events in Virginia, are you considering terminating him?

Donald: I have a “right” (he ha) to appoint–where would I be if every appointment in my administration had to be vetted and approved? I’d be alone up here and the government would come to a standstill!

Now, somebody ask me a question really worth answering.

 

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Hyperbaton

Hyperbaton (hy-per’-ba-ton): 1. An inversion of normal word order. A generic term for a variety of figures involving transposition, it is sometimes synonymous with anastrophe. 2. Adding a word or thought to a sentence that is already semantically complete, thus drawing emphasis to the addition.

Time’s prisoners we are.

Time is a wicked spirit disfiguring transcendence–the soul of truth. Time keeps us from experiencing the tranquility of permanence and the sublimity of the void.

What good is time beyond measuring its progress toward its end?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Hypozeuxis

Hypozeuxis  (hyp-o-zook’-sis): Opposite of zeugma. Every clause has its own verb.

I arrived at the grocery store. It was around 4.00pm. The vegetables were in the process of being misted. I wondered why eggplants needed misting. Well, I guess the person who tends the vegetables knows the answer. So I asked: “Why do you mist the eggplants?”

“The quick answer is they are related to tomatoes. I know that’s not a very good answer, but nobody would ever question the propriety of misting tomatoes.”

“I would” said the man standing behind me wearing a Burpee Seed hat and dirty overhauls.

“Uh oh” I thought to myself, there’s going to be some kind of misting showdown in the produce section!

I grabbed an eggplant and took off for the seafood section before something regretful happened.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Hysterologia

Hysterologia (his-ter-o-lo’-gi-a): A form of hyperbaton or parenthesis in which one interposes a phrase between a preposition and its object.  Also, a synonym for hysteron proteron.

I was too far beyond my comfort zone, under the frosty ocean water. I could feel the water pressure on my ears. It was hard to breathe through the breathing equipment. It was nearly dark. The current was strong. The seaweed was thick–twisted waving dark brown vines growing up from the seabed.

This was my first dive but my friend Edward had assured me I would be ok–but I wasn’t ok. Where is Edward? Where is Edward?

I’ve got to get out of here!

My instincts tell me to swim toward the light, but Edward had said something about the “bends”–something about rising to the surface too quickly.

Where is Edward? Where the hell is Edward?

I begin swimming slowly toward the surface (although I’m not sure what “slowly” means in this context).

I’ll take the risk that “slow is slow” and when I see Edward on the surface, I think I will register my anger and disappointment with a suitably violent act–an act of physical violence–perhaps a punch or a kick.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Hysteron Proteron

Hysteron Proteron (his’-ter-on pro’-ter-on): Disorder of time. (What should be first, isn’t.)

I woke up before I had gone to sleep.  You may think “Waking up” before sleeping is a metaphor–it isn’t. Ever since I started reading “Gone with the Explanation: Your Life is an Ass-Backward Mess” my life has gone awry–I am full before I eat, I wear my pajamas to work, I walk backwards to the park where I hold onto my dog’s ball–I can only catch it & that only happens once because I only have one chance to throw it to little velcro. Poor little Velcro.

Tonight, I begin my dinner with desert and end by putting my napkin in my lap and taking a sip of water.

I never knew a cheap paperback could have such an affect on a person’s life. I should’ve left it in the bin where I found it. I’m reading it back to front. I don’t understanding any of it, but soon I will be free from its diabolical grasp–5 pages to go! Pray for me!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Inopinatum

Inopinatum (in-o-pi-na’-tum): The expression of one’s inability to believe or conceive of something; a type of faux wondering. As such, this kind of paradox is much like aporia and functions much like a rhetorical question or erotema. [A paradox is] a statement that is self-contradictory on the surface, yet seems to evoke a truth nonetheless [can include oxymoron].

It is beyond belief that you’d actually consider attacking North Korea.

Ever since you’ve been President, I thought you’ve been kind of stupid, but your stupidity did not endanger the existence of the planet!

I can’t believe you’d actually blow us all up. Tell us it isn’t true! You’re just bluffing, right? If you’re not bluffing, I think you need to start looking for a new job–Leader of the Free World is beyond your capabilities.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

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Inter se pugnantia

Inter se pugnantia (in’-ter-say-pug-nan’-ti-a): Using direct address to reprove someone before an audience, pointing out the contradictions in that person’s character, often between what a person does and says.

You say you are a great negotiator, but as far as I can see after more than six months in office you have yet to “negotiate” anything. If you call jamming executive orders down peoples’ throats “negotiation” you’d probably call aiming a loaded gun at an unarmed person and demanding their agreement some kind of negotiation. Is that true?

People negotiate together–it is not a one-way street that only goes your way.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Intimation

Intimation: Hinting at a meaning but not stating it explicitly.

You know, avoiding bathing for too long can give a person fairly intense body odor.

When was the last time you took a shower?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Isocolon

Isocolon (i-so-co’-lon): A series of similarly structured elements having the same length. A kind of parallelism.

He cheated. He lied. He protested. He appealed. He lost. He left. Thank God.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Kategoria

Kategoria (ka-te-go’-ri-a): Opening the secret wickedness of one’s adversary before his [or her] face.

I guess it’s hard to call it “secret wickedness.” Everybody knows that you are a liar.  You’ve told so many lies since you’ve been elected President that here may not be enough room in the history books for recounting them. From Australia to Russia, you’ve lied. From Mexico to Sweden, you’ve lied.  From nearly any Point A to any Point B on the map, you’ve lied.

What’s the point of all the lying? You haven’t gotten away with a single lie yet!

Try the truth and see what happens! Jail time? Massive fine? Impeachment?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

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Litotes

Litotes (li-to’-tees): Deliberate understatement, especially when expressing a thought by denying its opposite. The Ad Herennium author suggests litotes as a means of expressing modesty (downplaying one’s accomplishments) in order to gain the audience’s favor (establishing ethos).

I’m not he funniest person in the world, and I haven’t earned millions in Las Vegas. But, I can make you laugh so hard you’ll wet your pants. Are you ready?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Martyria

Martyria (mar-tir’-i-a): Confirming something by referring to one’s own experience.

See this tattoo?

I got it when I turned 18. It didn’t hurt and the colors have lasted beautifully for 10 years: good old Sponge Bob. Now that I’m 40, he’s better than ever! I keep it covered at work, but other than that, Bob’s free to see the light of day.

If you get the right image, a tattoo tells a story and is good to look at too!

I think you should get one. You like layer cake–a layer cake with pink frosting would be cool!

Go for it! Take my word for it–you’ll be happy you did.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Maxim

Maxim (max’-im): One of several terms describing short, pithy sayings. Others include adageapothegmgnomeparoemiaproverb, and sententia.

He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.  Get it? 

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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