Tag Archives: hysteron proteron

Hysteron Proteron

Hysteron Proteron (his’-ter-on pro’-ter-on): Disorder of time. (What should be first, isn’t.)

I woke up before I had gone to sleep.  You may think “Waking up” before sleeping is a metaphor–it isn’t. Ever since I started reading “Gone with the Explanation: Your Life is an Ass-Backward Mess” my life has gone awry–I am full before I eat, I wear my pajamas to work, I walk backwards to the park where I hold onto my dog’s ball–I can only catch it & that only happens once because I only have one chance to throw it to little velcro. Poor little Velcro.

Tonight, I begin my dinner with desert and end by putting my napkin in my lap and taking a sip of water.

I never knew a cheap paperback could have such an affect on a person’s life. I should’ve left it in the bin where I found it. I’m reading it back to front. I don’t understanding any of it, but soon I will be free from its diabolical grasp–5 pages to go! Pray for me!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Hysteron Proteron

Hysteron Proteron (his’-ter-on pro’-ter-on): Disorder of time. (What should be first, isn’t.)

The applause shook the building. I was on my way to my final performance of “Rigatoni.” Why am I hearing applause? Why am I in a building?

I’m not. I’m riding in a limo. Time is going forward and backward. I am a child. I am a baby. I am a teenager. I am warping full speed toward the end of my career. In 45 minutes I’ll be tossing the pasta for last time–smooth marinara sauce, spicy sausage, sumptuous cheese–stringy, sticky–the applause! Oh the applause. I haven’t done anything–the applause comes after, not before my performance of “Rigatoni.” Why am I hearing applause?

I’m watching the Weather Channel. I’m lost. How did I get here: I got out of the car. I got in the car. I took off my pajamas. I got in bed. I woke up. Oh, I know: it’s my birthday. Give me a drink and I’ll perform “Rigatoni.”

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Hysteron Proteron

Hysteron Proteron (his’-ter-on pro’-ter-on): Disorder of time. (What should be first, isn’t.)

Tears were coming out of my eyes. I pushed the onion into the kitchen sink.  I bought it at the grocery store. I chopped it. I peeled it. It cost 49 cents. I came home. I parked the car in front of the supermarket. I started the car. I went inside. I needed a cup of coffee. I couldn’t get out of the car.

Everything was out of focus–my hand, my knee, my watch, my life.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Hysterologia

Hysterologia (his-ter-o-lo’-gi-a): A form of hyperbaton or parenthesis in which one interposes a phrase between a preposition and its object.  Also, a synonym for hysteron proteron.

We climbed up and over (despite the rain and falling rocks) the steep canyon wall so we could reach the tomb ahead of the band of looters who took the lazy trail about six miles up the canyon. We would get there first. We would save the sacred site and, with luck, capture the craven thieves.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Hysterologia

Hysterologia (his-ter-o-lo’-gi-a): A form of hyperbaton or parenthesis in which one interposes a phrase between a preposition and its object.  Also, a synonym for hysteron proteron.

We sent a package filled with her favorite goodies to (with love and affection) our wonderful daughter. We miss her.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Hysteron Proteron

Hysteron Proteron (his’-ter-on pro’-ter-on): Disorder of time. (What should be first, isn’t.)

The car smashed into the tree. It skidded off the road. He fell asleep at the wheel. He was killed instantly. He told his wife not to wait up for him–that he’d be home before sunrise.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).