Tag Archives: eucharistia

Eucharistia

Eucharistia (eu-cha-ris’-ti-a): Giving thanks for a benefit received, sometimes adding one’s inability to repay.


Thank you so much for the sprained ankle. I don’t how to repay you. Rather, I don’t want to repay you. It’s bad enough that I’m limping around on a crutch. Two of us would raise suspicions—suspicions that there is something wrong with us beyond our ankles. I don’t know why I let you suck me into a fifty yard dash against you on our little frozen pond. I had to veer to miss some little kid and “twist” went my ankle.

This kind of crap has been happening since we were kids. I remember our garden. We aspired to feed the neighborhood and planted string beans. But before we even got the beans planted, we were raking dirt lumps into tillable soil. I was standing behind you. For some reason you turned your rake around so the tines faced down when you lifted it back over your shoulder. Two of the tines went into my head. You talked me into keeping what you had done secret. That night, I had more trouble than usual with my math homework. I thought it was the holes in my head.

Then, there was the “bungalow” we built in your back yard. It was made out of pallet boards salvaged from “Geiger’s Appliance Store.” we took them one at a time in my red wagon, on Sunday when the store was closed. It took five trips. We didn’t have any tools, so we just leaned the pallet boards against each other, and put two on top for a roof. I was first to go in and bumped a pallet board as I went trough the “door.” The bungalow collapsed on top of me. The roof gave me a mild concussion and I peed my pants. When the bungalow collapsed, you ran away. I lay there with my head spinning for nearly an hour when your dad noticed my leg sticking out of what was now, a pile of pallet boards. I don’t know why I accepted your apology for leaving me there.

What about the “joy ride” we took in my family’s car? Neither of us knew how to drive, but you insisted on getting behind the wheel. Our first maneuver was to back out of the driveway. You thought when you drove backwards, you were supposed to look in the rearview mirror. Remember? You ran over the mailbox at the end of the driveway and then drove full speed ahead into the garage door. You did significant damage to the front and rear of the car. When we hit the garage door, we jumped out of the car and ran as fast as we could to the playground, where we hid out for the rest of the day. When I got home there was a police car there. My father had reported that somebody had tried to steal our family car. Luckily, insurance covered the damages and we got off scott free. But, I wish the whole thing had never happened.

Well, all that is behind us. Even though I hurt my ankle, I made it to my wedding today. Despite all that’s happened, you are my best man. I hope your recent release from prison was a joyous occasion for you. 5 years for armed robbery was probably a walk in the park. Sticking up Cliff’s was probably part of a plan to improve your life. Good for you. I noticed you you put one of our smaller wedding gifts inside your sports coat—in the inside pocket. Please put it back on the table or I will call the police.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Eucharistia

Eucharistia (eu-cha-ris’-ti-a): Giving thanks for a benefit received, sometimes adding one’s inability to repay.


Thank-you so much for the comb.

Hair is a many-splendored thing. If you wash it, it shines and smells good. You can curl it so it bounces and shimmers. That brings us to combing the hair. Ever since I used my comb last June in Panama to fight off a man who invaded my hotel room in the middle of the night, I’ve been without a comb. I stabbed him in the stomach with it and he ran out the door, leaving a blood trail to the fire stairs.

It was a beautiful tortoise shell comb, with a special pointed handle. It goes easily through airport security and nobody’s ever the wiser.

This comb you’ve given me today is beautifully crafted and beautifully functional. The built-in GPS is a stroke of genius as are the tear gas dispenser and hand sanitizer. It is more than a replacement. It is a new horizon of self-defense and good grooming. I am sure it will save my life someday—maybe in a hotel room in Panama. Ha ha.

When your birthday comes, I‘m going to have a hard time measuring up. The electric hard-boiled egg peeler I gave you last year is a tough act to follow—we’ve been eating hard boiled eggs every day for the past year. I’m thinking of a tattoo gift certificate for you this year. Maybe you could get that ugly rat bastard Kelly’s face on your butt. I’m pretty sure he’ll get to look at it whenever he wants. What do you think?


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is also a Kindle edition available for $5.99.

Eucharistia

Eucharistia (eu-cha-ris’-ti-a): Giving thanks for a benefit received, sometimes adding one’s inability to repay.

X: Thank you so much for the new lawnmower! There’s no way I can repay you.

Y: If that’s the case I’m taking it back. I was expecting you to mow my lawn once a week without fail.

X: Then, take your damn lawnmower back! What do I look like, your indentured servant?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is also a Kindle edition available for $5.99.

Eucharistia

Eucharistia (eu-cha-ris’-ti-a): Giving thanks for a benefit received, sometimes adding one’s inability to repay.

X: I can’t believed how helpful you’ve been. I didn’t have a chance, and literally one snap of your fingers and I’m promoted to VP!

I am eternally grateful for your kindness. I can never repay you.

D: I’m glad you mentioned “eternally” as the duration of your gratitude. That’s just what I had in mind.

When you asked for it, you knew my famous ‘finger snap’ is not gratis. You knew repayment was part of the deal–you were just too stupid to ask exactly how the repayment was to be made–what form it would take.

X: Oh my God! I never believed you could actually do it.

D: Well, sorry about this being so soon after your promotion, but it’s time . . .

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Eucharistia

Eucharistia (eu-cha-ris’-ti-a): Giving thanks for a benefit received, sometimes adding one’s inability to repay.

Thank you for sending me an angel. He has helped me with my substance abuse problem.  Also, on hot nights he cools me off by flapping his wings over my bed and lets me use his halo as a reading light.

Since I’m only a mortal, there’s no way I can ever repay you, but I just want you to know how grateful I am: Hallelujah!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Eucharistia

Eucharistia (eu-cha-ris’-ti-a): Giving thanks for a benefit received, sometimes adding one’s inability to repay.

Thanks for the kidney Uncle Eddy! I owe you my life! There’s no way I’ll ever be able to do the same for you, but if you need a lung or some other body part or organ & I’ve got one to spare, I’m here for you!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Eucharistia

Eucharistia (eu-cha-ris’-ti-a): Giving thanks for a benefit received, sometimes adding one’s inability to repay.

I really appreciate what you did for me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Eucharistia

Eucharistia (eu-cha-ris’-ti-a): Giving thanks for a benefit received, sometimes adding one’s inability to repay.

Wow! I never expected a new Ducati for my birthday. Thank you so much–there’s no way I’ll ever be able to match this one on your birthday! You are the best! Want to go for a ride?

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)