Eucharistia (eu-cha-ris’-ti-a): Giving thanks for a benefit received, sometimes adding one’s inability to repay.
Thank you for sending me an angel. He has helped me with my substance abuse problem. Also, on hot nights he cools me off by flapping his wings over my bed and lets me use his halo as a reading light.
Since I’m only a mortal, there’s no way I can ever repay you, but I just want you to know how grateful I am: Hallelujah!
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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)
Meiosis (mei-o’-sis): Reference to something with a name disproportionately lesser than its nature (a kind of litotes). This term is equivalent to tapinosis.
It was time to pan fry the catfish I caught in the river across from the “Jack and the Beanstalk” fertilizer factory!
This was no ordinary catfish and pan frying was not exactly what I was going to do. The fish was so big that I had use my front loader to scoop it up and drive it home from the river. As soon as I got it home, I built a huge bonfire, laced with petrochemicals to get it going fast. I cleaned the fish with a chainsaw. Then, I lowered the front loader’s bucket into the roaring flames. When it was red hot, I raised it out of the fire, backed up and scooped up the fish. Then, with my mouth watering I pulled forward and lowered little kitty-kitty-fish into the eight-foot flames.
The explosion blew apart my front loader. I woke up in a drainage ditch across the street from my home. All of its windows were shattered.
I was soaking wet. I was covered with wriggling mosquito larvae and blown up catfish parts. My ears were ringing, my nose was bleeding and a charred pectoral fin the size of a canoe paddle was sticking out of the left cheek of my bashed up butt.
I felt a pang of hunger. It triggered the first thought that squeezed through my swollen brain: “Beaver Brand Tatar Sauce.” Inspired, I dragged myself across the street, over the curb, over the broken glass, into the smoking double-wide, toward what was left of my kitchen. “Beaver, beaver, beaver” I moaned.
The next thing I knew, the angel with the black and yellow stun gun . . .
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).
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