Hysterologia (his-ter-o-lo’-gi-a): A form of hyperbaton or parenthesis in which one interposes a phrase between a preposition and its object.  Also, a synonym for hysteron proteron.

I was too far beyond my comfort zone, under the frosty ocean water. I could feel the water pressure on my ears. It was hard to breathe through the breathing equipment. It was nearly dark. The current was strong. The seaweed was thick–twisted waving dark brown vines growing up from the seabed.

This was my first dive but my friend Edward had assured me I would be ok–but I wasn’t ok. Where is Edward? Where is Edward?

I’ve got to get out of here!

My instincts tell me to swim toward the light, but Edward had said something about the “bends”–something about rising to the surface too quickly.

Where is Edward? Where the hell is Edward?

I begin swimming slowly toward the surface (although I’m not sure what “slowly” means in this context).

I’ll take the risk that “slow is slow” and when I see Edward on the surface, I think I will register my anger and disappointment with a suitably violent act–an act of physical violence–perhaps a punch or a kick.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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