Category Archives: Uncategorized

Merismus

Merismus (mer-is’-mus): The dividing of a whole into its parts.

The Trump Administration is divided into four uneven parts: family, friends, business associates, and lies. “Lies” almost accounts for all of the Administration’s total size.

Trump’s latest lie: “I don’t wear underpants.” Definite lie–you can see the elastic waistband sticking out of his pants. One can only speculate as to why he would lie about wearing underpants. We think it may be because Putin does not wear underpants–this is a verified fact. Given the esteem that Trump holds Putin in, we can easily see why he would lie about his own underpants.  The question is, though, “Why lie about your underpants when you can just pull them off and ‘go commando’ (like Putin) for real?” We’ll have to ask this question at the next press briefing. We’re sure Kommander Huckabee will answer right up! That is, there’s got to be a good policy driven answer to the underpants question & we’ll find it! It will be a snap (ha ha)

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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Mesarchia

Mesarchia (mes-ar’-chi-a): The repetition of the same word or words at the beginning and middle of successive sentences.

I was looking for a piece of paper. I was anxious for a piece to write on. I was in need of a piece to start my butterfly census project. I would be counting the Monarchs, Yellow Swallowtails and Black Swallowtails. For one week, I would go out every day at 2.00p.m. and track them.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Mesodiplosis

Mesodiplosis (mes-o-dip-lo’-sis): Repetition of the same word or words in the middle of successive sentences.

There’s no time like the future! There’s no time like the past! There’s no time like the right time & the right time is now! Let’s go visit the Russians! I think we can learn a lot from them about things like stealing, money laundering and bribery! Also, after dealing with the Russians, you know Dad can tell us a thing or two about money laundering too. In fact, he may be better at it than they are! Come on Donny, let’s catch a cab over to the consulate!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Mesozeugma

Mesozeugma (me’-so-zyoog’-ma): A zeugma in which one places a common verb for many subjects in the middle of a construction.

It was time to go across the street, through the yard, onto the path.

He was in a hurry, but it did not matter.  As usual ‘time was a thief’ and it stole his timely arrival.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Metabasis

Metabasis (me-ta’-ba-sis): A transitional statement in which one explains what has been and what will be said.

Now that we’ve had a chance to explain what collusion is, let’s take a look at  recent examples from news headlines reporting the Trump family’s meetings with Russians and see if they fit the definition of “collusion.”

There are so many examples! Let’s focus on one: Donald Trump was observed whispering in Vladimir Putin’s ear at the Molotow nightclub in Hamburg, Germany. Now, as far as collusion goes, the means are present: a ‘secret’ message for Putin’s ear only. The problem is, we don’t know the content of the the message. Even though they immediately got up and danced, there’s no telling the sum total of Trump’s message to Putin.  Accordingly, we must rule out the “Molotow Communique” as a instance of collusion, aside from the resultant dancing, which is, I guess, a form of ‘soft’ collusion.

Ok, let’s take a look at the second example . . .

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Metalepsis

Metalepsis (me-ta-lep’-sis): Reference to something by means of another thing that is remotely related to it, either through a farfetched causal relationship, or through an implied intermediate substitution of terms. Often used for comic effect through its preposterous exaggeration. A metonymical substitution of one word for another which is itself figurative.

Your imagination is an empty stretcher in an ambulance headed to Duncan Donuts.  Your dream is to fill the stretcher with strawberry frosted donuts, and wrestle playfully with Mike Pence and Vladimir Putin on the stretcher as they squat inside your head, clutching donuts and growling and smiling at you, who, as a matter of fact are holding a Nutella filled sugar donut in each hand.

Wow!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Metallage

Metallage (me-tal’-la-gee): When a word or phrase is treated as an object within another expression.

When I look at the President of the US, I think, “How can he be called a ‘leader'”? If you think of him, perhaps, as Lemming in Chief, there may be room to call him a leader: but who he is leading and where they are being led is troublesome to say the least.

A key flaw in his Executive Lemmingship’s leadership has to do with the cliff. I don’t think there is a cliff in the US big enough for him to lead his millions of followers over in one shift. It would be a jammed-up mess. Perhaps Jared and Donald Jr. can help out. They can move sh**t around like nobody’d business! They could easily divide the responsibility, scout out a couple more cliffs. and take credit for a major accomplishment in the field of logistics–maybe even win an award from Logistics Magazine (circ. 70,000).

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Metaphor

Metaphor (met’-a-phor): A comparison made by referring to one thing as another.

President Trump is a strip of duct tape holding together a small empty cardboard box.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Metaplasm

Metaplasm (met’-a-plazm): A general term for orthographical figures (changes to the spelling of words). This includes alteration of the letters or syllables in single words, including additions, omissions, inversions, and substitutions. Such changes are considered conscious choices made by the artist or orator for the sake of eloquence or meter, in contrast to the same kinds of changes done accidentally and discussed by grammarians as vices (see barbarism). See: antistheconaphaeresisapocopeepenthesisparagoge, synaloepha.

I can’t believe the daily corrupto news flashes. The White House has turned into the Wrong House–the wrong house for Donald Trump. Neeirly every day lands a new scandal. When will it all come to a head? Or better, when will it all come to an end? When we invade N. Korea?

Help!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Metastasismeta

Metastasis (me-tas’-ta-sis): Denying and turning back on your adversaries arguments used against you.

You say I lied about colluding with my dentist. Well, let me tell you: you wouldn’t have these ideas unless you had something to do with it. That goes for the Russians too!! You’re the one who’s done the colluding & that’s a fact. Just ask Putin–he’ll tell the truth.

Remember: I’m the President and Presidents don’t lie.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Metonymy

Metonymy (me-ton’-y-my): Reference to something or someone by naming one of its attributes. [This may include effects or any of the four Aristotelian causes {efficient/maker/inventor, material, formal/shape, final/purpose}.]

President hair wad seemed lost at the G20 summit.

Definition courtesy of “Sliva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

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Ominatio

Ominatio (o-mi-na’-ti-o): A prophecy of evil.

Oh Korea of the North! Hear me, for I am the Prophet Pence!

Your meddling with atoms can only lead to infinite woe. Your bold, yet reckless, experiments with world-crossing rockets will cause great anger and prompt many long-winded diatribes from your many enemies. So, I say unto you, put your Won into feeding your people or I prophesy an angry wind will blow across your Korea of the North and turn your shining missiles into giant cardboard toys.

Hear me that ye may forewarned! I am the Prophet Pence and I can see into the future.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Onedismus

Onedismus (on-e-dis’-mus): Reproaching someone for being impious or ungrateful.

I gave you more than half of our peanuts. You just gobble them up. You don’t even look at me. You just keep stuffing them into your mouth. 

Can’t you at least say “Thank-you”? I would appreciate it. If you don’t   thank me I’m going home to my mother. She would thank me.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.ed).

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Onomatopoeia

Onomatopoeia (on-o-mat-o-pee’-a): Using or inventing a word whose sound imitates that which it names (the union of phonetics and semantics).

My heart went boom, boom, boom. Then it went squish, squish, squish as they gave me CPR. My marathon-running days are over forever! I’ll have to be content with fast walking around the mall or the supermarket.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Optatio

Optatio (op-ta’-ti-o): Expressing a wish, often ardently.

I wish I hadn’t said that. It did more damage than I ever imagined it would. In the future, I’ll steer clear of references to bleeding in my Tweets. 

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetorica” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Orcos

Orcos (or’-kos): Swearing that a statement is true.

Senator Lunar: How many Russians can dance on the Head of the FBI?

Government Witless: Probably 5 or 6. But, respectfully, I believe it is the head of a pin, not an actual head & that it is somehow a metaphysical meditation on the corporeality of Russians’ souls (if they have any in the first place).

Senator Veritas: You lie I cry!

Government Witless: I swear I am telling the truth so far as Senator Lunar’s more or less insane question begs me to.  By the way: Your mother is alive and well in Miami.

Senator Lunar: 5 or 6 Russians dancing on Comey’s head, eh? There is no bruising. I think you’re lying Witless.

Government Witless: Respectfully Senator Lunar, my answer is true insofar as it is consistent with a historical tradition of speculation on bodies and souls, not to mention angels and whether they’re pure spirit. Russians are a new twist on the commentary.

But I want to ask you: Why are you asking me this more or less (on the face of it) irrelevant, if not crazy, question?

Senator Lunar: My Life Coach Billy Ed Joseph Ronald Richards gave me the idea. He was giving an ‘inspiration’ on how to advance political agendas and one way is ‘dancing’ on the heads of opponents. So, if 5 or 6 Russians danced on Comey’s head, it could very well be the case that he was ‘brought around’ and colluded with the Russians.

Government Witless: Wow! That’s more bizarre than 12th century philosophy and theology combined!

Senator Lunar: I swear it’s true. I may have been there. That’s not ketchup on my loafers. Whoops!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Oxymoron

Oxymoron (ox-y-mo’-ron): Placing two ordinarily opposing terms adjacent to one another. A compressed paradox.

He was having one of his high-lows–a complicated mental episode where he was energized by his depression.

He took medication. It made him sleep.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paenismus

Paenismus (pai-nis’-mus): Expressing joy for blessings obtained or an evil avoided.

Let the blessings continue to flow, and may they carry on after the July 4 recess.

During the recess, may the Senators ponder the American Health Care Act of 2017, hold their wives and their children close and imagine what a pile 10,000 dead bodies will look like–10,000 deaths caused by their support of the American Health Care Act of 2017.

Let us pray that their visit home will soften their hearts so that they may vote against the American Health Care Act of 2017.

In so doing great evil will be avoided and a great blessing will be obtained.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Palilogia

Palilogia: Repetition of the same word, with none between, for vehemence. Synonym for epizeuxis.

Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!

Let’s get this surgery over with! My favorite soap opera starts in 5 minutes!

Just stitch him up! He’ll never know!

Hurry, damn it!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Parabola 

Parabola (par-ab’-o-la): The explicit drawing of a parallel between two essentially dissimilar things, especially with a moral or didactic purpose. A parable.

Life is an onion: Onions have many layers and they make you cry.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paragoge

Paragoge (par-a-go’-ge): The addition of a letter or syllable to the end of a word. A kind of metaplasm.

Republican Healthcareless. That’s the essence of the Republican plan. Given their plan, clearly the Republicans could care less about the health and welfare of the American people. It’s shamefula you know what.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paralipsis

Paralipsis (par-a-lip’-sis): Stating and drawing attention to something in the very act of pretending to pass it over (see also cataphasis). A kind of irony.

There’s no way I’m going to talk about the harm that will befall millions of people after your health bill is passed. I wouldn’t call it murder, but knowing people will die as a consequence of its passage, and then passing it, has got to ride on some kind some kind of homicidal intention. 

The American Health Care Act of 2017 is a homicidal tribute to indifference toward human life and human suffering.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paramythiapara

Paramythia (pa-ra-mee’-thi-a): An expression of consolation and encouragement.

So what if you can’t get any legislation passed and the Courts are saying “No, no, no.”

You can still keep on churning out Executive Orders.

The sky is the limit on them! And what we really like is the way you’re dismantling Obama’s legacy! Closing down Cuba travel was a wonderfully insulting move! Don’t stop now! How about morality–how about no hemlines above the knees? No unaccompanied women after 10.00 pm?  Break off diplomatic relations with the UK? Outlaw Fakin’ Bacon–a disgusting liberal substitute for real pig meat.

Give it a shot Donny! What’s to lose?

Executive Orders Rock!  They’re dress rehearsals for your coming dictatorship! Keep ’em coming & and don’t let the federal courts get you down.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Paraprosdokian

Paraprosdokian: A figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase [or series = anticlimax] is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe the first part. . . . For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists. An especially clever paraprosdokian not only changes the meaning of an early phrase, but also plays on the double meaning of a particular word.(1)

“When the going gets tough, it’s time to go home.” B. Mazlow

1. “Paraprosdokian.” WikipediaThe Free Encyclopedia. 4 Jan 2008, 03:30 UTC. Wikimedia Foundation, Inc. 9 Jan 2008 <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraprosdokian>.

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Paregmenon

Paregmenon (pa-reg’-men-on): A general term for the repetition of a word or its cognates in a short sentence. Often, but not always, polyptoton.

Here, there, and everywhere–wherever we look the power of love is eroding. Headline after headline speaks of acts of hatred, bigotry, intolerance.

Where has Love gone? Where are the linked arms testifying to the beauty of solidarity marching on its feet toward peace?

Shall we overcome?  Will we overcome? Can we overcome?

If we are to remain an open and free society, we MUST unite in love’s spirit with selfless regard for each other, and together, repair, patch and restore our torn social fabric.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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