Meiosis

Meiosis (mei-o’-sis): Reference to something with a name disproportionately lesser than its nature (a kind of litotes). This term is equivalent to tapinosis.

It was the 75th annual zucchini contest in Midpool, New York, where neighbors compared zucchinis by size, shape, and color in the city park on Labor Day every year. Joe and Patty were walking to the park to enter their zucchinis:

Joe: “Your zucchini looks like a gherkin pickle compared to mine.”

Patty: “Bullshit. It’s 22” and makes your zucchini look like your teeny weeny.

And for some magical reason, it did. Joe’s pants fell down, There was a flash of light and Joe’s and Joe’s pants showing that his teeny weeny had turned into a 2” stub. Joe freaked out and threw his contest zucchini to the ground. It shrunk to a four-incher and he felt a pain in his pubes! Joe winced and started crying.

What would they do?

Patty heard a voice “You must transplant the zucchini to Joe’s stub. Thinly slice the off tip, cut off the stem, and hold it to Joe’s stub for five minutes.” She did as directed.

Patty said, as she held the zucchini on Joe’s stub.: “I wish Joe’s 2” stub and the 4” zucchini would meld.”

And for some magical reason they did.

The zucchini became flesh and the transformation was complete.

Now Joe had a nearly 6” penis. He no longer had a teeny weeny. It was now a full-fledged pecker, or even a dick!

They were both relieved and got the hell out there. Although he came out ahead, given the hell went through, he learned to never minimize the sizes of other people’s actually large zucchinis (or other things). Patty learned that she had magical powers. She promised to use them for good, saving people and entertaining them with her circus magic act. Her favorite trick was turning people’s fingers into carrots, and back again.

She became known as “Madam Transformatio: The Goddess of Change.”