Mesodiplosis (mes-o-dip-lo’-sis): Repetition of the same word or words in the middle of successive sentences.

I started making plans a month ago. I am making this banquet a spectacular event. You’ll be making it even better if you come! The tablecloth alone is worth it. I took a cooking class at the community college. Although I only got a C- my professor told me that my cooking is “interesting” and if I want to be a fast-food chef, I would probably “ have an impact.” I asked her what she meant by that and she told me that “many people would feel the effects” of my cooking. Using the famous MacDonalds two-sided grill, I will be cooking eel, alligator, and free range Urban Pigeon. The pigeon will be marinated in olive juice and stuffed with popcorn and bread crusts. The eel will be wrapped around a short length of 1” pipe and secured with bread package twisty closures. The eel will be slow roasted and basted with a mixture of maple syrup, gin, tomato sauce, pounded anchovies and raw clams run through a blender. The alligator will be kept intact. We’ll need 6 grills to cook it. Mmm. Imagine the smell. The alligator will be stuffed with Taylor Ham, peeled hard-boiled duck eggs and blue cheese. As a humorous touch, I’m putting an expensive running shoe in the alligator’s mouth. For eating utensils, everybody will get a foot-long switchblade knife. In addition, everybody will receive a glow in the dark bib. You may be wondering “What’s for desert?” Well, nothing special. Just a ten-foot high tiered cake with four small chocolate escalators ascending the cake’s pyramid-like sides. The cake will be topped by an ancient magic lantern holding some of the essence of the goddess Hebe— the Geek goddess of youthfulness. When the lantern is lit everybody will look younger and a wild time will ensue. A perfect ending for a perfect banquet.

As soon as I get out of the hospital, I’ll be sending out detailed invitations. I was bitten by an alligator while I was foraging in the Everglades for fresh organic food. My gun jammed and the alligator took a piece of my hand and swallowed my Glock, which went off in his throat and made him mine. He’s a 12 footer. He may be though, but I’m tougher.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (

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