Daily Archives: April 11, 2022


Kategoria (ka-te-go’-ri-a): Opening the secret wickedness of one’s adversary before his [or her] face.

We’ve had a lot of fun over the years—Atlantic City, Las Vegas, I never asked you for a penny—I gave you a free ride, Aqueduct, Disney World, the cruise to the Bahamas, and more. All these years it was a free ride for you. The latest fashions, gold jewelry, Gucci. Now I find out that you and my brother Eddy have been bunk buddies for the past 8 years. I don’t know the depths of stupid I descended to not to see it before now. Thank God for Father Barboil. He told me the truth.

Please remove yourself from my life before I do something crazy. But before you go, dump all the jewelry I gave you into the $400.00 blender I gave you to make Margaritas with. Later, I’ll crank it up and grind some gold and jewels.

You are a back-stabbing piece of garbage. I don’t think even a rat would take a bite out of you if you were dead on the pavement for a week. I hope you and Eddy have a great time—maybe you can ride the coin-operated pony outside the grocery store, if you can afford it. Goodbye! I wish you all the bad luck in the world. I hope to read your obituary soon.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

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