Tag Archives: personification

Personification

Personification: Reference to abstractions or inanimate objects as though they had human qualities or abilities. The English term for prosopopeia (pro-so-po-pe’-i-a) or ethopoeia (e-tho-po’-ia): the description and portrayal of a character (natural propensities, manners and affections, etc.).


My bed was yelling at me: “Climb in! Get in here! It’s half past 2:00am.” Couldn’t my bed see? I was duct taped to the rocking chair. I had no idea how I got there. How could this happen in my own bedroom? Was I drugged and dragged? I thought I was because I had a sort of fogginess that does not come from lack of sleep. Then, my wife walked into the room. “You were doing it again, sleep walking without your pajama bottoms and trying to get in my bed. You were persistent, so I gave you a shot of fentanyl in your neck. You went into an immediate stupor. Our neighbor Ed, who is a terrific guy, helped me drag you and tape you to the chair. I know it seems drastic, but I’m off the pill, I don’t want any kids, and abortion’s illegal here in Indiana.” “So’s fentanyl,” I said. Just then, Ed walked into the room. He wearing black bikini briefs and black flip-flops. His outfit cried “I was having sex with your wife.” But that didn’t square with what she had just told me about being off the pill.

I was afraid to confront him because of the rumors about his past. He had a giant scorpion tattooed on his chest, and a big black rat on his left shoulder. It had a cartoon bubble that said “I’ll eat your face.” People said he had served in the Russian mercenaries, and was thrown out for playing “flaying games” with captured Ukrainian soldiers. In short, Ed was one wicked hombre. I asked them to untape me and help me out of the chair. My wife laughed: “The chair’s your new home wimpy pants. Ed and I have planned a crime spree that will extend across the Southeast, ending in Florida. we’re leaving you here to starve.” This was crazy. My wife used to be a kind, loving, loyal person. I knew she knew I would eventually free myself. Something stunk.

While they were getting ready to do their criminal deeds (I guess, loading firearms, mapping out escape routes, studying McDonalds’ floor plans and drive-in savings and loans), I struggled to free myself. I had briefly worked as a part-time contortionist when I was in college, performing at birthday parties. So, I had a few moves that might get me free. I tried the “Jelly Man” first—where you go totally out of joint and do the “Squirmarola” to get free—like a blob of jello on a mission. The duct tape adhesive poses a special challenge, but you can do the “Spot Sweat” and moisten the adhesive with bodily excretions. Once moistened, the tape slides open, and you slide free. It worked!

I got dressed and quietly went down the stairs. There they were. I expected them to be doing their version or the squirmarola on the couch. But they weren’t. Ed had dressed as a Catholic priest and was dribbling oil on my wife’s head. She was yelling “Hosanna” and holding her hands together in an attitude of prayer. This was so bizarre that I thought I was hallucinating, but I wasn’t. It was real. I was hiding behind the corner of the stairway wall, so they didn’t see me. When Ed was done “anointing” my wife, they embraced, rocked back and forth, and sang Elvis Presley’s “Hound Dog.” Ed sang the entire song in falsetto. Then, they howled and went “Yip! Yip!” and crawled around the living room floor on all fours, sniffing it like they were on the trail of something. After two circuits, Ed put my wife in a Great Dane-sized dog crate and dragged it out the front door. I watched as he loaded the crate into his van, and they drove away.

I was glad they were gone. There was indeed a crime spree reported in the Southeast. Their first target was a savings and loan in Alabama. They had escaped with over $200,000! Then, it was reported they were apprehended in Florida robbing a Sunglasses Hut. I was glad. Finally, they’re going to get what they deserve.

That night, I couldn’t sleep. There was a really bad smell coming from the basement. I wracked my brain and remembered that it could be Frieda the missing middle school teacher! I went down in the basement and there was Frieda curled up on a tarp on the basement floor, dead. Now that Ed and my wife were on the lam, I immediately reported the body to the police. They added Frieda’s murder to Ed and my wife’s litany of criminal offenses. It was the right thing to do.

I had liked Frieda a lot. We were close, but not close enough. She resisted my affectionate advances. I said to her decaying body “I’m sorry I had to send you away with a crowbar to the back of your head, dear Frieda.” Suddenly, there was pounding on the front door. It was the police. It was a ruse! Ed and my wife were working together with the police. They had discovered Frieda’s corpse when they were playing Dungeons and Flyswatters in the basement. The basement was bugged. The police heard everything.

I’m in prison and Ed and my wife are still going at it. She’s pregnant and we’re in the process of getting a divorce. I found out that the rumors about Al were untrue. He had served as a pastry chef at NATO Headquarters in Brussels. He was never in trouble. He never hurt anybody, he just had poor taste in tattoos.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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Personification

Personification: Reference to abstractions or inanimate objects as though they had human qualities or abilities. The English term for prosopopeia (pro-so-po-pe’-i-a) or ethopoeia (e-tho-po’-ia): the description and portrayal of a character (natural propensities, manners and affections, etc.).


The wind cried Larry. My name wasn’t Larry. Maybe the wind confused me with somebody named Larry. I don’t know. I would be thinking about this anomaly for the next three days, confident I would figure it out. Then it dawned on me one day later! When I was around 12 my father bought me a turtle so I would learn “responsibility.” I named the turtle Larry, after my favorite Stooge in the Three Stooges, that I watched every day after school. Larry was the deepest thinker, reserving his twisting of Curley’s nose for the direst of circumstances, or hitting Curly on the head with a two-by-four without seeking Moe’s approval, confidently whacking Curly around until Moe took over. I had Larry for about a year, and he died, like pet turtles do—some sort of bacterial infection from dirty water in Larry’s Turtle Island Turtle Tank.

So, the wind crying Larry was definitely directed at me. I had heard voices before, like the squeaking hinges on the bathroom door that suggested I kill my sister. Or the refrigerator that would hum Christmas carols at night, whenever everybody else was asleep.

Then, a thought smiled on my brain! I could keep a notebook of my paranormal experiences and publish it as a book. The night suddenly opened up it’s arms and embraced me with its quiet. I fell asleep. I dreamed I was the fastest turtle in the world. Top speed 85. My name was Larry.

I was roaring down the NYS Thruway on my way to Albany to pick up my Champion Crown. My little goggles were fogging up. It was raining. A tractor trailer truck cut me off and I started to spin out of control, and I hit the guardrail sideways, making a crunching sound as I bounced onto the pavement, dead.

I woke up screaming, fell out of bed, and hit my head hard on the floor. It was bleeding. As I was slowly losing consciousness, I heard the wind cry Larry, and I knew what it meant. I survived the concussion, but I still have been unable to come out of my shell.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. Also available on Kindle for $5.99.

Personification

Personification: Reference to abstractions or inanimate objects as though they had human qualities or abilities. The English term for prosopopeia (pro-so-po-pe’-i-a) or ethopoeia (e-tho-po’-ia): the description and portrayal of a character (natural propensities, manners and affections, etc.).

The strong wind blowing through the trees and the dark clouds spoke of an upcoming storm. They were saying: “There’s a thunder and lightning storm coming, better take shelter.”

I listened and understood, and went inside to await the impending storm. The strong wind and dark clouds never lie!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Personification

Personification: Reference to abstractions or inanimate objects as though they had human qualities or abilities. The English term for prosopopeia (pro-so-po-pe’-i-a) or ethopoeia (e-tho-po’-ia): the description and portrayal of a character (natural propensities, manners and affections, etc.).

Jimi Hendrix is telling me “The wind cried Mary.”  I don’t know about that, but I’ve heard the moon burp and say “I’m full.” The moon is impolite.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Personification

Personification: Reference to abstractions or inanimate objects as though they had human qualities or abilities. The English term for prosopopeia (pro-so-po-pe’-i-a) or ethopoeia (e-tho-po’-ia): the description and portrayal of a character (natural propensities, manners and affections, etc.).

The Fukushima reactor is badly, but not terminally wounded. For 2 years it has poured out its deathly boiling gore.

Will a wall of ice seal its unhealable wounds?

Some so-called ‘sceptics’ believe that Fukushima is bleeding an immortal flow of endless catastrophe.

In the END, will its endless flow soak the heart and drown the soul of frail Mother Earth?

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Personification

Personification: Reference to abstractions or inanimate objects as though they had human [or animate] qualities or abilities. The English term for prosopopeia (pro-so-po-pe’-i-a) or ethopoeia (e-tho-po’-ia): the description and portrayal of a character (natural propensities, manners and affections, etc.).

Drones deal death from the bottom of the deck.

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Definitions courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Antiprosopopoeia

Antiprosopopoeia (an-ti-pro-so-po-pe’-i-a): The representation of persons [or other animate beings] as inanimate objects. This inversion of prosopopoeia or personification can simply be the use of a metaphor to depict or describe a person [or other animate being].

I’m rubber and you’re rubber too! Everything we say bounces around between me and you.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

Personification

Personification: Reference to abstractions or inanimate objects as though they had human qualities or abilities. The English term for prosopopeia (pro-so-po-pe’-i-a) or ethopoeia (e-tho-po’-ia): the description and portrayal of a character (natural propensities, manners and affections, etc.).

That clock on the wall knows what time it is. Pay attention to what it’s saying! It’s telling you that you better leave right now or you’ll miss your bus to Las Vegas.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Antiprosopopoeia

Antiprosopopoeia (an-ti-pro-so-po-pe’-i-a): The representation of persons [or other animate beings] as inanimate objects. This inversion of prosopopoeia or personification can simply be the use of a metaphor to depict or describe a person [or other animate being].

I am a big mean jelly bean.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

Personification

Personification: Reference to abstractions or inanimate objects as though they had human qualities or abilities. The English term for prosopopeia (pro-so-po-pe’-i-a) or ethopoeia (e-tho-po’-ia): the description and portrayal of a character (natural propensities, manners and affections, etc.).

I opened the refrigerator door.  The cream cheese begged for a bagel. The carrot yelled “Eat me! Eat me instead! Don’t listen to the cream cheese! Stay on your diet!” I listened to the carrot. I stayed on my diet. I am grateful. Yet, I have mixed feelings about eating such a loyal friend.

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Definitions courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Antiprosopopoeia

Antiprosopopoeia (an-ti-pro-so-po-pe’-i-a): The representation of persons [or other animate beings] as inanimate objects. This inversion of prosopopoeia or personification can simply be the use of a metaphor to depict or describe a person [or other animate being].

Our dog is a smelly rug.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

Personification

Personification: Reference to abstractions or inanimate objects as though they had human qualities or abilities. The English term for prosopopeia (pro-so-po-pe’-i-a) or ethopoeia (e-tho-po’-ia): the description and portrayal of a character (natural propensities, manners and affections, etc.).

The wind answered my question with gusty clarity–its chilling voice moving every leaf and every branch on every swaying tree: “Yes, the season is changing. Now, see the leaves fly! Now, see the geese fly! Today, I tell you, I am a harbinger.  Behold, I bring you fall!”

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Definitions courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)