Epenthesis


Epenthesis (e-pen’-thes-is): The addition of a letter, sound, or syllable to the middle of a word. A kind of metaplasm. Note: Epenthesis is sometimes employed in order to accommodate meter in verse; sometimes, to facilitate easier articulation of a word’s sound. It can, of course, be accidental, and a vice of speech.


I cain imagine what it would be like to live here. I would have a lot of fun playing softball until dark behind The Knights of Columbus Club House where we can “borrow” Mr. Tanto’s De Nobili cigars. He hides them from his wife at the clubhouse and smokes them like there’s no tomorrow while he’s there, and drinks Mt. Stromboli’s homemade wine like it actually tastes good! I tasted it one time and it was awful. It tasted like somebody had soaked car tires in bath water and bottled it. I will never know what Mr. Tanto found pleasing about Mr: Stromboli’s wine. Maybe I just don’t have gourmet taste. I like big Mac’s with cheese, fries, a vainilla shake and a cone. That makes me pretty much normal, like everybody else.

Yes, this is a great place to live. If I can stay, as I grow up I am sure I’ll get a good job. Maybe like my cousin Jimmy. He’s a runner. He does not race in marathons, in fact he does race at all. He will never tell me where he runs. He says it’s secret. Maybe he works for the CIA. I don’t know what kind of espionage can go on in this little town, but it could be big. The town is near an arsenal where they make and test bombs. You hear them exploding all day long, and sometimes at night. I snuck into the arsenal one night. I have never told this to anybody. I saw flying monkeys being bossed by a skinny old lady in a black dress. I barely got out of there and I’ve seen monkeys peering in my bedroom window. They hold up little signs that say things like: “Go back to New Jersey’” “Jimmy is doomed,” and “No more chocolate ice cream.” Nothing’s happened yet, and I don’t think it will. I just wish the flying monkeys would leave me alone.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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