Daily Archives: May 22, 2022

Epanodos

Epanodos (e-pan’-o-dos): 1. Repeating the main terms of an argument in the course of presenting it. 2. Returning to the main theme after a digression. 3. Returning to and providing additional detail for items mentioned previously (often using parallelism).


There was a time when I could put up with anything—I think I was around six years old. Up to six, I wailed cried until things went my way. After six, I lost my tolerance for everything—a crack in the sidewalk set me off. My dog Creature looking at me set me off. Having to poop set me off. If somebody said my name, it set me off. The list of triggers was endless and I was always angry and miserable until I stumbled across a book at Geppetto’s Flea Market. The book is titled Stop It! It is by an obscure author from Belize named Shep Rutt. It made me realize I suffer from a kind of mental illness called “Omni Baddy Kakosphere” (OBK): a tendency to dislike and be irritated by everything. Rutt argues: (1) It is a mental illness, (2) It is all in your head, (3) It can be cured. As a mental illness it has name recognition among doctors and insurance carriers. So, you’re covered: you will get a doctor and your insurance will pay for your care. Since it is all in your head, your head will play a big role in your cure. You will get control of your imagination and ability to see all things in a positive light. For example, if you step in dog poop, you’ll just wipe it off your shoe with a stick and be on your way, smiling. And, that’s how OBK is cured: once you get control of your judgement, you will lose your judgement to Rutt’s ground-zero insight drawn from the 60s pop song: “Everything is Beautiful in Its Own Way.” When you feel yourself slipping back into OBK, you will play the song on your iPhone and you will be restored.

Mental illness. All in my head. Can be cured. I laughed at a homeless man today: he looked so funny in his raggedy smelly clothes, with a sunburn, and a worn-out cardboard coffee container. One month ago he would have made me mad and I might have pushed him down on the sidewalk. But now, I think he’s funny. I pointed and laughed. Shep Rutt saved my life: I had an illness in my head that was cured. Stop It! made me stop it. I am studying now to become a Stop It therapist. More OBK sufferers need to see that everything is beautiful in its own way.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Epanorthosis

Epanorthosis (ep-an-or-tho’-sis): Amending a first thought by altering it to make it stronger or more vehement.


Every time I try to put things right, they go wrong—no, no, no, they go catastrophic. I go to the vet with my cat Barny. I decided to carry him to calm him & boom—he jumps out of my arms and runs away across the parking lot, jumps through the window of a waiting car and rides away. I was just trying to help him and things went way wrong. That was a year ago. I got a new cat and named him Barny 2. He is all black like the old Barny, but has a different demeanor. He likes clawing my ankles, yowling late at night, and knocking his food around the kitchen floor, like some kind of weird multi-puck hockey game.

I wanted everything to be right on the cat front. It never will be, but well, maybe it will be. Maybe I can work with Barny 2 to bring him around—to make him a model cat. There’s a place called “Bad Cat College” near where I live. My friend Etta had her cat cured there of its tendency grab ahold of her windpipe when she was sleeping. The cat, Blurto, was cured by substituting kitty treats for Etta’s windpipe. The cat gained a lot of weight, but Etta can sleep knowing her windpipe will be intact in the morning. I would like to stem Barny 2’s desire to eat my legs.

Sadly, Barny 2 disappeared 3 days ago. Maybe he’s gone for good. Right now I’m writing a short story called the “Incorrigible Cat.” The story ends with a woman and her cat fighting it out in the basement. The women hits the cat with its litter box and slams it up against the wall. The cat is unfazed and leaps on the woman’s head and tears one of her eyes out of its socket. The woman, bleeding from scratches and her eye socket, rips the cat off her head and strangles it with one hand, while she punches it in the face with her other hand.

This is like Dirty Harry meets Leo the Lion. Ha Ha. You might have guessed, that I’m actually done with cats. I think they are suitable for masochists, but not me. With luck, Barny 2 will never come home.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99. There is also a Kindle edition available for $5.99.

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