Hysterologia (his-ter-o-lo’-gi-a): A form of hyperbaton or parenthesis in which one interposes a phrase between a preposition and its object. Also, a synonym for hysteron proteron.

I went, like a bat out of hell, down the rocky hill, rolling like a golf ball to the bottom. It was the only way to get my wallet after I threw it in disgust into the ravine. I had tried to buy a nose hair trimmer on Amazon on my phone and it told me my credit card was no good. I had broken my trimmer on the tangle of fur growing out of my nose. One of the side effects of my anti-tremor medication was to induce nose-hair growth. If I didn’t get a new trimmer, my nose hairs would grow down to my chin before I knew it, and I would have to hide in my house again.

I picked the battered piece of leather, previously called my wallet, up from the ground and climbed up the rocky hillside, back to my car. I got in and looked in the rearview mirror. The nose hair was touching my upper lip. I started the car and headed for home. I was in a hurry and was speeding. Suddenly, I heard a siren behind me. I pulled over and took out my license and grabbed my insurance card and registration from the glove box. The police officer walked up to my car and I rolled down the window. She shined her flashlight in my face and started to laugh, “What the heck is up with your nose hair?” I told her and she asked if she could touch it. I thought it was highly inappropriate, but maybe it would get me out of a ticket. She reached in the window and gave it a gentle tug. It felt good having somebody else touch it. She told me she wasn’t going to give me a ticket because I already had enough to contend with. I was about roll up the window when she handed me a card and told me if I needed any help with my nose to give her a call.

I pulled back on the highway stunned. She was attracted to my wild nose hair. I couldn’t wait to call her and ask her to buy me a trimmer and come over to my house and give me some help.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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