Bdelygmia (del-ig’-mi-a): Expressing hatred and abhorrence of a person, word, or deed.

There is one thing in the world I hate, and it’s you. Tricky was a good goldfish. You gave me a choice: yield, or you would stomp on the fish. I didn’t yield. You stomped on Tricky until he looked like orange mashed potatoes soaked into my bedroom rug. I cried so hard. You laughed so hard and made my world fall apart. Even after you stomped Tricky, you made me “honor” your request.

Today is a new day. I hate you more today than yesterday. When I told the guy at the gun shop what you did to me, and will probably do again, he actually gave the Beretta to me—he even loaded the clip. As he handed the loaded gun to me, all he said was “Self defense.”

So, here we are today with your pants down around your ankles and a Beretta pointed at your privates. You are scum. You belong in a landfill covered with rotting garbage. I should kill you, but get ready to have the clip emptied in your crotch. Stand up you wimp. Shut up!

Feel free to call 911 while I pump your privates full of lead.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (

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