Euche (yoo’-kay): A vow to keep a promise.

Him: From now on, I promise to put the seat down when I’m done weeing.

Her: You might as well promise to drink gasoline at Cliff’s every time you fill up the car. What prompted this anyway? Are you terminally ill and want to go out on a positive note? Changing 30 years of ‘seat up’ to, ‘from now on, seat down’ must’ve been paid for by our daughter, or caused by something more bizarre.

Him: I dreamed I was a toilet seat. I was arrogant. I was uncaring. I was sexist. I only went down for crapping men, and then I went right back up again. Women had to pull and tug on me to go down so they could sit and pee. Realizing the suffering I caused as a mean toilet seat, and feeling the warm butts of the harassed women sitting on me, were transformational. I developed a degree of genuine empathy that is enduring and will enable me to keep my promise to you.

Her: My God! This is the best one yet! Your “I was a toilet seat dream” speech! But what the hell. At this point, after 30 years, I’ll take anything, no matter how crazy.

Oh, before you go to work, make sure to put the seat down. It’s been up since you got up this morning.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (

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