Monthly Archives: March 2021

Antisagoge

Antisagoge (an-tis-a-go’-gee): 1. Making a concession before making one’s point (=paromologia); 2. Using a hypothetical situation or a precept to illustrate antithetical alternative consequences, typically promises of reward and punishment.

Ok, ok. So I might have overestimated the popularity of my cardboard bicycle, but its point is not about popularity, it’s about making a difference—changing peoples’ view of cardboard. It’s not just for cards any more, with my miracle quick-hardening cardboard construction syrup, we can build a brave new brown paper world—a corrugated utopia with shelter for all, and bicycles too. Just think: Pit mines, plastic pollutants entangling innocent fish, noisy metallic four-wheeled death-crates spewing petrol and carbon-based gasses into the air, castles made of steel and sand—castles costing millions, and millions, and millions, all replaced by clean, cozy, durable cardboard.

Imagine: Welcome to your cardboard mansion. Everything made of light-weight treated cardboard. You’ll even have a cardboard microwave and a cardboard TV, and a cardboard family too (if you want one).

Think about it. Talk about it. Make the change. Join Cardboard Nation. Our slogan: “It’s corrugated for your safety, your future, and your peace of mind.” Our first demonstration project is being erected at Disneyland’s “It’s a Small World.” You know, “fairy tales can come true it can happen to you, if you’re young at heart.” So, don your oxygen tube, and grab your walker! The future is wide open.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Antistasis

Antistasis (an-ti’-sta-sis): The repetition of a word in a contrary sense. Often, simply synonymous with antanaclasis.


You broke my heart and now I’m totally broke—no lover, no vodka, no cigarettes. I will see you in hell. Oh, what the hell. Let’s go to Mexico for a couple of days. Maybe we can rekindle the raw emotion that made our relationship worth a damn. Put down the gun, put on some clothes, and put on a smile. Ok? Orbitz awaits.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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Antisthecon

Antisthecon (an-tis’-the-con): Substitution of one sound, syllable, or letter for another within a word. A kind of metaplasm: the general term for changes to word spelling.


Have you tried the new Jaruzi? It’s a tub with jets of hot water that boil your jars of fruit preserves. It is made by the people who make hot tubs in France. It’s a great thing to have if you live around raspberries, strawberries, or blueberries. You can make 25 jars of jelly or jam at once! We sell ours on the internet and made $50.00 last year. We hid in our bushes and threw unsold jars at passing cars. It was irresponsible, I know, but I get nesty when things go to hell.

I’ll sell you my Jaruzi for cheap. Maybe I’ll give it to you along with 85 free jars of jam and my raspberry lease and 200 empty jars.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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Antithesis

Antithesis (an-tith’-e-sis): Juxtaposition of contrasting words or ideas (often, although not always, in parallel structure).


We tell falsehoods. We tell truths. True and false, like right and wrong, set the boundaries of our being—of who are, who we were and who we will become.

We sit here on this beautiful spring day—in the cool breeze, under the spell of clouds, the blue sky, and the scent of flowers as we grope like moles driven from their burrows by a hard unrelenting rain. We grope for stability—the stability truth affords. But we also grope for the openness of change and thrill of the unknowable where imagination, fiction, and falsehood have free play.

But somewhere between what’s true, what’s imagined, and what’s false is what we believe—what seems probable and seems plausible: the site of opinion: of faith, charity, chances, and wagers.

For example, the neat oppositions between true and false, right and wrong, and all the binaries we consume in our endless search for the end of our search to know and to conquer, places our trust in the sexes’ extremes. Man vs. Woman. At the site of “versus” between the extremes there is a startling array of variations in the markers traditionally used to map biological sex. There is no perfect manifestation of the categories of Man and Woman.

Nevertheless, the drive for categorization is endless. It provides us with vexing anomalies: man, woman, other. It has political implications, surgical implications, and legal implications. I guess we need think in degrees, where the different degrees are not hierarchically arrayed, and the extremes never achieve 100%.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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Antitheton

Antitheton (an-tith’-e-ton): A proof or composition constructed of contraries. Antitheton is closely related to and sometimes confused with the figure of speech that juxtaposes opposing terms, antithesis. However, it is more properly considered a figure of thought (=Topic of Invention: Contraries [a topic of invention in which one considers opposite or incompatible things that are of the same kind (if they are of different kinds, the topic of similarity / difference is more appropriate). Because contraries occur in pairs and exclude one another, they are useful in arguments because one can establish one’s case indirectly, proving one’s own assertion by discrediting the contrary]).


Stuffing your face and sucking up a bottle of wine every night isn’t going to make you thinner. In fact, the opposite is the case: you are enlarging. This is the 2nd time this year you’ve outgrown your clothes and had to replace them. Salvation Army loves you. Macy’s loves you. The liquor store loves you.

Pretty soon, you’ll be shopping at the Cow Barn, where everything’s plus-sized and they use styrofoam farm animals for mannequins.

You need to decide which you’re going to be: fat or not fat. There is no two ways about it: it’s one or the other. You can’t be both. That’s what gives you a choice. Let’s go to work on this together.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Apagoresis

Apagoresis (a-pa-gor’-e-sis): A statement designed to inhibit someone from doing something. Often uses exaggeration [or hyperbole] to persuade. It may combine an exaggeration with a cause/effect or antecedent/consequence relationship. The consequences or effects of such a phrase are usually exaggerated to be more convincing.


A: If you keep touching yourself like that, your hand will start to smell like Satan’s butt, you will become a stutterer, and your privates will turn green and melt off. After that, you will die.

It’s not too late!

To begin your renewal, you can wear these touch-proof underpants. They are made of Kevlar and can stop a bullet. For purposes of bathing, and peeing and pooping, one of our church brethren will handcuff you, aim your penis for you, and hose you off. If he sees you somehow touching yourself, he is authorized to give you a shot of “electro-ball therapy.” It is what it sounds like, only it’s worse.

Well, what do you say?

B: If you are for real, I’m calling the police. You and your “congregation” are a bunch of sadistic weirdos.

A: Smell your hand.


Definitions courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

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Aphaeresis

Aphaeresis (aph-aer’-e-sis): The omission of a syllable or letter at the beginning of a word. A kind of metaplasm.


I shot out the clip of my ‘andgun and threw it in the pond. No more guns for me. I don’t care if I can’t ‘fend myself like that kid in the grocery who fought off 10 innocent unarmed people with his AK. I’m being sarcastic. My heart is broken. We must ban assault weapons tomorrow.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Aphorismus

Aphorismus ( a-phor-is’-mus): Calling into question the proper use of a word.


Love? What? You “love” ice cream? Ice cream is a sweetened liquid that you eat with a spoon. Save your love for your family and friends. The affection you have for ice cream is misplaced: love is a two-way street, a mutual affection. I don’t think you can love a thing, no matter how yummy it is.

Use that word carefully. Alongside hate, love may be the most important, and misused, word in the English language. It isn’t healthy to call your desire for, and enjoyment of material objects and processes, love.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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Apocarteresis

Apocarteresis (a-po-car-ter’-e-sis): Casting of all hope away from one thing and placing it on another source altogether.


Lotto, Lotto, Lotto. All these years, and I have never won a penny. My “Dollar and a dream” is about a thousand bucks and a nightmare. I am sick of losing. I don’t know why I haven’t quit already. You guessed it—no more running to the convenience store on Fridays. No more angrily tearing up those losing tickets.

I quit!

I have got a new 21st-century modern-day plan: on-line slots! Instead of playing once a week, I can play all the time on my laptop! It is clear to me: the more often I play, the greater the chances I’ll win! I don’t know why I didn’t come up with this plan sooner. It’s like having Las Vegas everywhere in my house, except the basement, where I don’t have wi-fi reception.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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Apocope

Apocope (a-pok’-o-pe): Omitting a letter or syllable at the end of a word. A kind of metaplasm.


I’m endin’ this thing right now! We have been goin’ steady since high school. I just turned 32 and that’s too old for goin’ steady. I don’t care if your mother went steady with your father until she got pregnant when she was 36. You are not your mother!

So, it’s been great goin’ with you, and here’s hopin’ you’ll find somebody else who’s weird like you—maybe one of those creeps who hangs out at the gas station. What about Gomer Yanket? Remember him? He was home-schooled by his anarchist father and spent 6 years in prison for blowing up a shoe store. He’s sewn his wild oats and is probably ready to go steady! He’s got a job at the landfill stomping on cans, and he knows how to cook.

I’ll put in a good word for you with Gomer and you’ll be havin’ a new steady beau before you know it. Goodbye.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Apodioxis

Apodioxis (ap-o-di-ox’-is): Rejecting of someone or something (such as the adversary’s argument) as being impertinent, needless, absurd, false, or wicked.


We do not need another damn blender! We have three already, for God’s sake. When you started on your smoothie kick, I thought it was ok—healthy beverages are good. But now, seeing three blenders lined up on the kitchen counter makes me crazy. Why do you have to give each of your blenders a three-day rest between their use? Why have you decided you need four blenders now for a four-day rest? I mean, we don’t need four cars or lawnmowers for “resting” purposes.

So, if you try to bring another blender into this house, I am going to turn off the electricity and call your grandmother. You can go stay with her and have all the blenders you want! Once you’re out of here, I’m bringing my other five toasters back up from the basement and resume toasting English muffins the way they should be toasted.

No more blenders!


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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Apodixis

Apodixis (a-po-dix’-is): Proving a statement by referring to common knowledge or general experience.


If I eat those beans there will be a fartopalypse. We all know that beans are the “musical fruit.” For me, they make me into a rampaging tuba. So please, I’m going to pass on your special baked beans. I’m sorry I had to tell you, but it is part of my ass-wind therapy.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paper and Kindle editions of The Daily Trope are available on Amazon under the title The Book of Tropes.

Apophasis

Apophasis (a-pof’-a-sis): The rejection of several reasons why a thing should or should not be done and affirming a single one, considered most valid.

Should I wear a mask?

1. No–It makes my face sore!

2. No–It curtails my breathing. Did you hear? 100s of people are suffocating.

3. No–they are too expensive—five dollars for a twenty-pack.

4. No–I am an immature bozo and don’t like people bossing me around.

5. They are against my freedom of speech.

On the other hand, they save lives and slow the disease’s spread. I guess I’ll get one of the cool-looking black ones like movie stars wear!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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Apoplanesis

Apoplanesis (a-po-plan’-e-sis): Promising to address the issue but effectively dodging it through a digression.


Q: Why did you storm the Capitol claiming you’re a patriot and carrying a big American flag, and later, beat a police officer over the head with the flagpole?

A: Ok ok. I’ll give it a try. You should ask me why I still live in America, but I’m gonna do stupid things anyway. I don’t fault you for asking that question. I guess you could say that I’m the kind of patriot that beats up police. “Beats up” has such a harsh ring to it. It’s like so much of the language we use to insult and anger our fellow people. Language robs us of our voice. We all use the same words. Or, at least In America we are supposed to speak American, but that’s not how it is and it makes me mad. I . . .

Q: All right. Step down. Bailiff, please escort the prisoner back to his cell.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Aporia

Aporia (a-po’-ri-a): Deliberating with oneself as though in doubt over some matter; asking oneself (or rhetorically asking one’s hearers) what is the best or appropriate way to approach something [=diaporesis].

I can’t remember everything—I want to remember everything. Please, memory! Drag it up. Give me a chance. I am normal, and normally our memories are incomplete. Where is my past? Where is your past? Like everybody’s, my past is fragmented. I am missing whole stretches of my being-in-the-world. What happened? If I remembered everything that happened I would be whole instead of being a puzzle piece looking for it’s puzzle, to fit in, to be a part of the picture.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Aposiopesis

Aposiopesis (a-pos-i-o-pee’-sis): Breaking off suddenly in the middle of speaking, usually to portray being overcome with emotion.


Then she told me to get . . . to get bent. I don’t even know what the hell “get bent” means, but she was really mad. She threw a bar of soap at me & it hurt like hell. Look at the bruise on my forehead!

I never should’ve called her husband a moron. I thought for sure she would agree with me! She’s been cheating on him with me for at least year and he doesn’t suspect a damn thing. That’s moronic, but she doesn’t think so. Damn!


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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Apostrophe

Apostrophe (a-pos’-tro-phe): Turning one’s speech from one audience to another. Most often, apostrophe occurs when one addresses oneself to an abstraction, to an inanimate object, or to the absent.


Thank you for coming.

Isn’t it strange how attached we become to our cars and trucks? You’ve probably noticed the bare spot on my lawn where I have parked my old rusted truck for the past fifteen years. Since my truck is gone, now, I’d like to say a few words marking his passing.

Buck the Truck. Were you my friend? We rode the open roads with my daughter strapped into her car seat. We got speeding tickets. We got warnings. Your brakes failed coming down a hill with my daughter by my side. We were almost killed as we rolled across a major highway in Massachusetts, unable to stop at the intersection. Then your driveshaft fell off 2 days later, and then the muffler. I’ve always fixed you Buck, but now Buck, we’ve reached the end of the road. When the battery bracket rusted and fell into your engine, spraying battery acid all over the place under the hood, and a little bit on the windshield, that was it for me.

Public Radio’s tow truck has taken you to your next incarnation: a junkyard. Accordingly, you have become a tax deductible $200 donation. Crushed into a cube of steel, you will swing in the air, embraced by a giant magnet and destined to reincarnate as a part of a kitchen appliance, another car or truck, or a girder at a construction site—maybe a college or university. Although I am sad, for safety’s sake, I had to let you go, my friend. If it’s any solace, I’ve gotten a tattoo of you on my right calf. Likewise, my daughter has done so too.

Thank-you again for coming.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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Apothegm

Apothegm (a’-po-th-e-gem): One of several terms describing short, pithy sayings, including adage, gnome, maxim, paroemia, proverb, and sententia.


“Truth is a lie that is true.” This is so true. I learned it at Camp Flaming Blue Weasel, deep in the mountains of Delaware. Our guru Dave led us through spirit “remodeling” exercises and we ate bland food, like boiled white paper and freshly cut Fescue grass. After a week, I punched Dave on the jaw. I knocked him down. He laid on the floor whining like a big injured dog, like an Irish Setter.

I was thrown out of Camp Flaming Blue Weasel. It just goes to show you: “When you think you are going to make trouble, sit down and shut up.” I think this is in the Bible.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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Appositio

Appositio (ap-po-sit’-i-o): Addition of an adjacent, coordinate, explanatory or descriptive element.


I stood by the big gray rock—a fixture on the farm—possibly as old as Earth. Isolated as a child, far from town, no television, no neighbors for 10 miles, no pets, no friends, the big brown rock sort of became a source of solace. That is, when I was with it I felt like I was in the company of something that had consciousness. It didn’t talk. It didn’t move. It didn’t gaze.

I didn’t tell anybody about the big brown rock. I would have been put under observation in the insane asylum in Brisbane. 20 years ago, the big brown rock was struck by lightning. A bunch of small pieces—stones—were chipped off by the lightening. 10 years ago on a visit, I picked up a stone and put it in my pocket. I’ve been carrying it in my pocket ever since. When people ask me why I always have “that stone” in my pocket, I tell them “l don’t know.” It’s true, I don’t know, and I don’t want to know.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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Ara

Ara (a’-ra): Cursing or expressing detest towards a person or thing for the evils they bring, or for inherent evil.


I can’t find any way around it. I hate you. I hate you as much as I will revel in your death—cold, hard, lonely suffering. You were supposedly called by God when you became a Christian priest. But you were not called by anything except your perverse sexual desires .

You are morally rotted: befriending, grooming and teaching: not history or math, but Depravity 101. You should be chopped apart while you are awake—your legs cut into cubes of meat and thrown into a dumpster to be scavenged by wild animals.

I hate you for what you did me and all the others. I hope you are beaten senseless every day in prison. I hope you are murdered and cremated and your ashes flushed down a toilet or scattered over a landfill. I hate you.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Paper and Kindle versions of The Daily Trope are available from Amazon under the title of The Book of Tropes.

Articulus

Articulus (ar-tic’-u-lus): Roughly equivalent to “phrase” in English, except that the emphasis is on joining several phrases (or words) successively without any conjunctions (in which case articulus is simply synonymous with the Greek term asyndeton). See also brachylogia.

Articulus is also best understood in terms of differing speeds of style that depend upon the length of the elements of a sentence. The Ad Herennium author contrasts the the slower speed of concatenated membra (see membrum) to the quicker speed possible via articulus.


Time, Hell, money, truth. There is no semblance of leisure here on the edge. Here, where everything I know is past. The future? Never. The present? Fleeting: a small dessert eaten while standing up.

Paris. London. Madrid. I am seeking refuge from the silence and the moon. Call me. Show me you care.


Definition and commentary courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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Aschematiston

Aschematiston: The use of plain, unadorned or unornamented language. Or, the unskilled use of figurative language. A vice. [Outside of any particular context of use or sense of its motive, it may be difficult to determine what’s “plain, unadorned or unornamented language.” The same is true of the “unskilled use of figurative language.”]


1. This is a mess. You spilled your milk and dumped your Spaghettios on the floor. I’m going to pretend I never saw this, but you should consider heading back to Kentucky and working as a school crossing guard or something like that. What do you think, Mitch?

2. The sky is a sponge squeezing it’s juice on the peanut butter earth: like a forked wing flying around in circles spitting invisible lice into the air, it rains down a blood-sucking shower of Truth.


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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

Asphalia

Asphalia (as-fay’-li-a): Offering oneself as a guarantee, usually for another.


I have been a fry-cook for 22 years. I’ve flipped more burgers than any single McDonalds, Burger King, or Wendy’s. Ok, that’s an exaggeration, but it is close to true. I taught Elrond, my son, all he knows, and I believe his prowess as a fry-cook surpasses mine. In addition to burgers, he can do omelettes and steaks, and oysters, and much, much more. Additionally, Elrond is easy-going and gets along well with other people.

I hope you would consider him for the fry-cook position that just opened. I will mentor him and see to it that he does well. I’ve been working here for the past 9 years. I know I’ve earned your trust. If Elrond does not work out, I’ll resign. I am confident that won’t happen, but I swear I will leave.

See you later!


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).


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Assonance

Assonance (ass’-o-nance): Repetition of similar vowel sounds, preceded and followed by different consonants, in the stressed syllables of adjacent words.

Divided all along days and nights of debauchery and prayer, my battered soul battles itself in fits of shame and solace—like a cordless blinker hotly flashing my travails.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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Assumptio

Assumptio (as-sump’-ti’o): The introduction of a point to be considered, especially an extraneous argument.

See proslepsis (When paralipsis [stating and drawing attention to something in the very act of pretending to pass it over] is taken to its extreme. The speaker provides full details.).

I’m not going to talk about the killing, the wanton destruction of government property, and basically, the display of anti-democratic abandonment by the Capitol’s invaders. Their numbers and their concerted common cause demand that we find the roots of their solidarity and cut them off as soon as humanly possible.

But all this goes without saying. What really matters is the public discourse that captured their minds and turned them away from democracy’s demand for reasonable and respectful deliberation. Evidently, they were motivated by baseless (lying) repetitive assertions that the elections were rigged, and by a three-word slogan: “Stop the Steal!” On this basis, eschewing reason and evidence, they did what they did—they stormed the Capitol with malice in their hearts.

What we need now, most importantly, is to set up a commission to discover how and why the invaders were prompted by baseless assertions and an accompanying three-word slogan—discourses that may rightfully influence children, but should not influence educated adults. We need to understand this new ‘means of persuasion’ and put groundless assertions and their accompanying slogans back where they belong: in a barrel marked “TOXIC WASTE”, not for their substantive claims, but for their failure to abide by norms of deliberation that constitute informed viewpoints across Democracy’s diverse spectrum of belief. Somehow we must sanction foundational lies and their destructive purveyors. This is an emergency.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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