Daily Archives: July 12, 2014


Eulogia (eu-lo’-gi-a): Pronouncing a blessing for the goodness in a person.

Your willingness to risk your life to save our Beanie Baby™ collection is a mystery to us, but we feel blessed. Our mobile home was ablaze. You threw down your bottle of PBR™ and fell through the screen porch, landed on the big black plastic bag, tried to get inside it and yelled, “Damn, it’s filled with Beanie Babies™ and Christmas lights!”

Maurice yelled, “To hell with it! Let it burn!” But you got your foot tangled in the drawstring and courageously dragged the bag behind you as you crawled out through the hole in the torn screen.

Coughing, you yelled, “My ball cap’s on fire, give me a beer!”

We thank you for your tipsy recklessness and the good fortune that tangled your foot in the bag. As a token of our appreciation and mystification, we want to give you these smoked Christmas lights, and a $5.00 Hobby Lobby™ gift certificate.

We know you’ll use the gift certificate the next time you wake up in the Hobby Lobby™ parking lot “the morning after” and need something to do with your hands to get you through another bout of beer flu.

  • Post your own eulogia on the “Comments” page!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).