Tag Archives: tmesis

Timesis

Tmesis (tmee’-sis): Interjecting a word or phrase between parts of a compound word or between syllables of a word.


He threw the Barbie Doll at the wall with such force that it left Barbie’s face print in the plaster. My little sister screamed and I ran outside, I got on my tricycle, and sped down the street. My brother was knocking on the front door of the loony-boingo-bin. He was big for 12 and scared the hell out of people. Violence was always pending on his to-do list—like brushing his teeth, getting dressed, or breathing. My poor Ma spent most of her time hiding in the basement with my little sister. Dad worked 12-hour shifts, 7 days a week, at the GM plant making Chevy station wagons. When he got off work, no matter when it was, my brother would disappear, often with his friend Tucky.

Tucky was 5 years older than my brother, and a poisonous influence. As far as I was concerned he was a psychopath—I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I knew it was connected to crazy. I thought, maybe, that craziness was contagious, and that my brother was catching it from Tucky. The most horrendous thing they did was play catch with dead animals. If there was a road kill nearby, they scraped its flattened dried corpse off the street and tossed it back and forth between them. One day Tucky himself became roadkill, hit by a garbage truck he ran in front of on a dare, seeing how close he could come to the truck without being hit. I saw it all from the curb. It was horrifying and disgusting all at once. When his head hit the pavement, it was like a pumpkin smashed on the sidewalk on Mischief Night—but instead of seeds, there were brains. I threw up all over my shirt. My brother just stood there like a great burden had been lifted from his shoulders.

My brother was bad no more. He learned how to cook, made dinner frequently, and washed the dinner dishes every night. He helped Ma with the laundry, and read our little sister a story every night before tucking her in. She loved “The Cat in The Hat.” Dad and my brother finally crossed paths, actually got to know each other, and Dad would do things with my brother when he could, like play hit the bat, or Poker.

My brother had gone on an overnight “camporee” with his Boy Scout Troop, somewhere along the Passaic River. That night, I was headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth when I glanced into my brother’s bedroom and I saw a little piece of fur hanging from between his bed’s mattress and box spring. Curious, I went into his room and lifted the mattress. There were four dried out flattened animals under his mattress—all roadkills: 2 squirrels, 1 Starling, and 1 toad. I didn’t know what to do.

When he returned from his camporee, I asked him about the flattened animals he was sleeping with. He laughed and told me not to worry. He told me one of his Superman comics had an ad for a mail order taxidermy/leather crafting school. He had sent away for the “kit,” paying for it with his earnings from mowing lawns and his paper route. A couple of days later, he made a hat like Davy Crockett’s out of one of the squirrels, and wore it to school. He was an instant celebrity, and more. He had given the squirrel skin hat glow-in-the-dark button eyes. Everybody wanted to get in the janitor’s closet with him to see them glow.

I was still worried about my brother. Then, a mystery creep showed up in our town: “The Pinkie Chopper.” He wore a balaclava and would follow his victims from the GM plant, chop off their pinkies, and bag them. At first, I thought my brother was involved, but no, he had become a model human being! On the other hand, his room was starting to smell pretty bad, and there was a balaclava hanging from his bedpost.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Tmesis

Tmesis (tmee’-sis): Interjecting a word or phrase between parts of a compound word or between syllables of a word.


I’m from New-friggin-Jersey— and Bruce and Frank and Thomas light bulb Edison too. I was the back-flash-lash: if you didn’t respect me, bang on your head. Growing up, the first word I learned was “con.” The first words of wisdom I learned were from the tattoo-covered guy down the street: “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.”

OK—I’m kidding. I did grow up in New Jersey, and it was great, sure, there was a bit of crime here and there, but there was so much more. What about the shore? Seaside Heights—the boardwalk and the beach, the rickety rides like the Wild Mouse and the Tilt-A-Whirl. The Wild Mouse was the scariest ride I ever went on—it made you feel like you were going to derail—it had runners under the tracks to hold it on the tracks, but every once in awhile they’d break and the mouse-car would fly into the Atlantic Ocean. Nobody was ever killed as far as I can remember. When my daughter was around 8 they had a version of the Wild Mouse at the New York State Fair. She begged to go on it. I capitulated after telling her ten or fifteen times the ride was the scariest ever. We took the ride. We got off and my daughter couldn’t talk for ten minutes.

The Tilt-A-Whirl is a big circular thing with a wall, like a big jar lid. Everybody gets strapped to the wall. It starts rotating, faster and faster until there’s enough centrifugal force to tilt it to a ninety-degree angle to the ground. My most memorable experience on the Tilt-A-Whirl was getting hit in the face by a shoe that had flown off the person across from me. Luckily, it wasn’t boot.

Anyway, growing up in New Jersey was great. I even went through Army basic training there; at Ft. Dix during the Vietnam War. I had my first legal drink at Ft. Dix—watered down beer. No matter how much I drank, I couldn’t get drunk. I missed the liquor store back home where they never checked ID. Missing a “liberal” liquor store is a Jersey Boy’s version of homesickness. So to help me and my fellow trainees cope, I set up a little import business. I had a “friend” in New Egypt, about 5 miles from the Fort. But hey, that’s another story.


Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Tmesis

Tmesis (tmee’-sis): Interjecting a word or phrase between parts of a compound word or between syllables of a word.

We sit idly by while Trump destroys much of what was built in the past 50 years–from civil rights to climate change policies, Trump has co-poppin-opted truth, justice and freedom, replacing them with a steady steam of lies, a disgusting Supreme Court justice and restrictions on the freedom of speech in his own White House.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Tmesis

Tmesis (tmee’-sis): Interjecting a word or phrase between parts of a compound word or between syllables of a word.

Last week I was in North Ko-wonderful-rea meeting with another humble dictator. I’m a better dictator than he is because I don’t starve people or execute them with Anti-aircraft guns. Instead, I tell lie, after lie, after lie. By murdering the truth, it works as well as murdering people. Once the truth is dead, you can bury it or cremate it and forget about it. Then, you replace the dead truths with vibrant living lies designed to scare, outrage and justify bullying the weak!

Look at Texas. Perfect example. Children “taken” from their families. I blame the Democrats over and over again. It’s a lie (it’s actually my policy). I have my cake (jailed children) and eat it too (blame Democrats). Ha ha! Am I evil? Yes, of course! I’m taking America to hell.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Tmesis

Tmesis (tmee’-sis): Interjecting a word or phrase between parts of a compound word or between syllables of a word.

The far right outer space Re-nutty-publicans have a long way to go before their health care bill becomes the law of the land.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Buy a print edition of The Daily Trope! The print edition is entitled The Book of Tropes and is available on Amazon for $9.99.

Tmesis

Tmesis (tmee’-sis): Interjecting a word or phrase between parts of a compound word or between syllables of a word.

Hilary Clinton on the grill again over Ben-freakin-ghazi. Thanks for another clown show House Republicans.

The Committee’s formula for Select Idiocy:

Seven Bozos + Five Reasonable People + Thirteen Months = -$3,500,000.  Money well-spent; if you like disgusting displays of partisan politics, squandering enough US taxpayer dollars to put a small village through college, and last but not least, vomiting on your TV’s remote control.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Tmesis

Tmesis (tmee’-sis): Interjecting a word or phrase between parts of a compound word or between syllables of a word.

Thanks for making me a target, Target! So far, I’ve “spent” $11,000 on my Master-hack-it-card.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Tmesis

Tmesis (tmee’-sis): Interjecting a word or phrase between parts of a compound word or between syllables of a word.

It is time to do what must be done. Sooner, not later.

Are we Team U.S. of fuggetaboutit-A?

I don’t think so.

I’d like to think that we are Team U.S. of friggin-kaboomin-A!

You know what to do!

It’s a slam jump swish 3-point lay-up free throw hook shot–It’s a full-court no “me” in “team” press! Blow your whistles and grab your b-balls, we’re going to war!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Tmesis

Tmesis (tmee’-sis): Interjecting a word or phrase between parts of a compound word or between syllables of a word.

Today we start Kagan’s Senate confir-nasty-mation hearings–a showcase for partisan politics.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Tmesis

Tmesis (tmee’-sis): Interjecting a word or phrase between parts of a compound word or between syllables of a word.

This is the most ridiculous proposal we’ve ever had put in front of us! It’ll result in another piece of legis-Bozo-lation–a law written by clowns to guide their circus act! I say, no way will I ever vote to approve it, and neither should you!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).