Category Archives: cataphasis

Cataphasis (kat-af’-a-sis): A kind of paralipsis in which one explicitly affirms the negative qualities that one then passes over.

This place smells like a dumpster somewhere in the sun in a parking lot. Rotting disposed meat from the Jolly Burger and rancid fish cakes from Sailor Tim’s seafood restaurant. There might be a dead body in that dumpster but security guards like me don’t have jurisdiction. We track down shoplifters and report them to the real police who lock them up with psychopaths and perverts who give them what they deserve.

Nevertheless, the underground parking garage needs help. I will overstep my jurisdiction and look around for the source of the stench. Uh oh, it’s that bloated old lady lying in that shopping cart over there, with one leg hanging over the side. I’ll go over there and sniff her and see if she’s the source of the stench.

He went over to her and stuck his nose between her breasts and took a deep whiff. It smelled like lavender. She stirred and he asked her if she was all right. She answered in the affirmative and told him to f*ck off. He started to walk away and noticed a duffle bag under her shopping cart. He asked her what was in the bag and she pulled a Glock and aimed it at his forehead. He said, “Look lady, I don’t get paid enough to put up with this kind of shit.” She shot him between the eyes and climbed down from her shopping cart. She unzipped the duffle bag. “God Carlisle, you stink. A week in the bag has done you wonders.” She stuffed the security guard in the bag alongside Carlisle and ran away. She was afraid the gunshot would attract attention, but it didn’t. She had a vague recollection of killing Carlisle with a an iron skillet during a heated argument over Carlisle’s new tattoo of a pig captioned “My Wife.” He called it “a picture perfect portrait” of her character. She snorted when he showed it to her, picked up the iron skillet, and slammed him over the head with it. His head cracked like an egg and he made a gurgling sound and died. His blood made a mess on the kitchen floor. She drew a smiley face in it and parked him in the duffle bag and dragged him to the mall where she put him under the shopping cart.

Now she was back home—a kindly old lady whose demented husband had disappeared. When the police found his dead body stuffed in a duffle bag alongside a security guard they proposed further investigation to the Chief. She agreed and further investigation commenced. It is currently in its 3rd year. The old woman has moved to Costa Rica where there’s no extradition. The police paid no attention to the “My Wife” pig tattoo, believing the old lady’s story that it was Carlisle’s first wife who the tattoo pictured, who he hated. Together, they supposedly laughed about it all the time. The police never bothered to check and see if Carlisle ever had a “first wife.”

The old lady has learned how to surf and make ceviche. Her Social Security is more than enough to keep her going, as is Juan Carlos her “special friend” from Mexico.

Definitions courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

The Daily Trope is available on Amazon in paperback under the title of The Book of Tropes for $9.95. It is also available in Kindle format for $5.99.

Cataphasis (kat-af’-a-sis): A kind of paralipsis in which one explicitly affirms the negative qualities that one then passes over.

You are a selfish, close-minded, prejudiced ass. But, I’m not going to waste your time telling you what you already know, instead, I want to talk about the asinine bullshit you fill my children’s heads with when they come over to play with Dick and Jane. I’m on the verge of not letting them over to your house any more. You’re an adult, Jim, so they believe you.

First: Betty and I are not space aliens and we did not steal them and our twins from a family in England and transport them here by matter exchange, a common means of travel, you allege, on our plant. Sure, the kids have a slight British accent, but that’s from watching Masterpiece Mysteries on PBS.

Our cat-like eyes are the result of drinking too much catnip tea. It is quite normal and has been documented in “Scientific Italian Magazine,” The condition has become permanent, but we don’t care because we love our catnip tea!

Second: you told my kids I don’t have a job because I don’t leave the house every morning clutching a briefcase like all the other Bozos on the block. Well, I’ll tell you! I work at night in the surrounding towns collecting donations door to door—mostly jewelry,, cash, and small appliances. People leave their doors open as a signal to me, and I quietly bag what they’ve left sitting out. Believe it or not, I have my own charity, “Golden Nest.” Most of what I collect goes to a family right here on our street, and the rest goes to the Police Vice Fund (PVF). PVF studies vice in the field, risking seduction and corruption, and getting caught with pants down or a slot machine handle in their hand. You poor deluded creep! Stop filling my kids’ heads with total nonsense!

Third: you told our kids we used to have four children and two of them (the twins) are dead: murdered. God, what a terrible thing to tell our kids! You made them fearful of us. They lock their bedroom doors at night and test their food for poison on Arfo, the family dog. If we wanted to kill them, we certainly wouldn’t poison them. We would probably drown them in the bathtub, hang them, or push them out an upstairs window. But we didn’t, Damn you!

We sent the twins, Kiki and Karl, to Ukraine, where they are listed as missing! Missing! Not dead! Their surrogate grandparents were taking care of them, but they’ve disappeared too, along with the kids’ passports and any signs that they were ever there. There’s no record of their plane tickets, which we bought online from Orbitz. We think maybe they cashed in their tickets and went to Disneyland. We’re checking on this theory. In the meantime we do not consider them dead because we have solid theories. So, shut up about “dead children.” They’re missing!

So, that’s it for now. Let’s try to be friends. After all, we’re neighbors.

Let’s get together on Friday. Bring your little wife Honey. Tonight, I have to work on the big silver thing in my garage. One of its parts has become defective, but I can replace it with any small appliance Tonight, I’ll be trying out a toaster.

Now, Carl, I’m going to make you forget this conversation and all suspicions about our family, my job, and where we come from. When I clap my hands, all that you will remember is our Friday dinner date. Clap!

POSTSCRIPT

Carl had his own secrets to keep and pretended to be affected by the spell. Carl was a Space Ranger and had had his eye on his neighbors, from the planet Tylenoll, where Carl came from too. He’d been surveilling them for nearly a year. He was getting ready to bring them in. He hoped he could unload the two brats when they stopped at Uturn. They didn’t deserve the same fate as their depraved parents, as required by Tylenollian law.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

The Daily Trope is available on Amazon in paperback under the title of The Book of Tropes for $9.95. It is also available in Kindle format for $5.99

Cataphasis (kat-af’-a-sis): A kind of paralipsis in which one explicitly affirms the negative qualities that one then passes over.

He’s a liar, a cheater, an extortionist, a narcissist, and a misogynist. But, we all know this already. There’s something else, though, that may be more pressing that we need to immediately discuss and determine what action to take.

So, what’s new to his resume of wrongdoing?

Treason.

On 1/6/21, he used his position to urge his supporters to nullify the election he fairly lost. They stormed the US Capitol: people were injured, people died, property was damaged and stolen, and more. The election’s certification was temporarily halted.

There is ample evidence that he was involved in the planning of the insurrection, and with his speech that day, it’s execution.

At a minimum, because of what he knows, one way or the other, he must be subpoenaed to testify under oath to the Commission, and indicted to stand trial for treason, if his, and others’ testimony, and supporting evidence, determine it is warranted.

We can’t let this go. Our nation’s future is at stake. Free, fair, and open elections are the heartbeat of our democracy. If found guilty, his attempt to take the Presidential election by the force of lies and violence was treasonous and warrants a life sentence, without the possibility of parole.

Let’s get to work and put the traitor away. As long as he remains free, he makes a mockery of our Constitution and threatens the fundamental political values it embodies. As Cicero said, “Though liberty is established by law, we must be vigilant, for liberty to enslave us is always present under that very liberty. Our Constitution speaks of the ‘general welfare of the people.’ Under that phrase all sorts of excesses can be employed by lusting tyrants to make us bondsmen.”

We have our charge. Let us follow our solemn oath to protect and defend the Constitution. Let us diligently, openly, and passionately pursue truth and find justice for the American people; for the United States of America.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

An edited version of The Daily Trope is available on Amazon in paperback under the title of The Book of Tropes for $9.95. It is also available in Kindle format for $5.99.