Hyperbaton

Hyperbaton (hy-per’-ba-ton): 1. An inversion of normal word order. A generic term for a variety of figures involving transposition, it is sometimes synonymous with anastrophe. 2. Adding a word or thought to a sentence that is already semantically complete, thus drawing emphasis to the addition.

I was cold—freezing. I had misplaced my mittens and gone outside anyway on a typical Antarctic afternoon. It was ironic. I was a mitten tester working for “Arctic Hand” mitten company. As their name suggests, they specialized in mittens designed to keep your hands warm in Arctic climates.

They had made millions since the “Sun-Dip Catastrophe” had significantly lowered earth’s temperature. The “Antarctic” where I was located went as far south as Kingston, Ontario. The sun’s temperature had been negatively affected by a U.S. government initiative named “Burn, Baby, Burn.”

It was NASA that killed the sun. It was designed to incinerate growing piles of garbage accumulating in land fills which were flooding with the 22nd century’s trash. It was designed to eliminate the earth’s solid wastes by launching them in garbage rockets into the sun. Sadly, there was so much garbage worldwide, that it started to smother the sun, significantly cooling the surface of the earth— bringing it below freezing, even in formerly tropical zones.

The disaster’s author, Dr. Denomiter, was found guilty of using forged data to make it look like “Burn, Baby, Burn” was a no brainer. Of course, it wasn’t. He was tried and convicted of fraud and is serving a life prison sentence, making vanity plates for SUV’s and pickup trucks, while worldwide panic is being replaced by insurrection and goose down clothed miscreants stealing petrochemicals and firewood running wild throughout the land. Geese have been made nearly extinct by the pressure put on them as clothiers slaughter them for their feathers and supermarkets overflow with their dressed-out carcasses, disgusting.

The end was in sight, but people still need durable, comfortable, cold proof mittens. Soon my “testers” will go sale, making possible people to freeze to death Moe comfortably as sub-zero temperatures overtake the world, and it comes to an end. I want to call my tester mittens “Armageddon Minus 200s.” I fugue it’ll be about 10 years until the end. If the sun ceases to be fed garbage, surely earth will be habitable longer, and may even recover.