Graecismus (gree-kis’-mus): Using Greek words, examples, or grammatical structures. Sometimes considered an affectation of erudition.
“The pathos was oozing dieresis, as the invisible confabulating man utilized the red spray paint to make himself visible. He said: ‘If you read my book, you have read red—an activity that can only be readily understood in the medium of print where only the color red can be read at the time of reading and be hermeneutically consumed in black ink transported to the destination of the bifurcated logos.’ This is the ultimate sign- weaving medium and message together in a McLuhan-made whole of intertextuality, uncensored by the intrusive ethos of lying, lying, lying and crying, crying, crying a river of lacrimal fluid.”
This passage comes from “Instanced and Nonsense: A Desired Return to Wonderland,” It is a 3,200 page waste of pixels and paper, prized only for its length as the longest known novel in human history, in the English language. It was written over the course of its author Bill Bailey’s life. He began writing it at the age of 11 and completed it at the age of 85, two weeks before he was frozen to death in a “Jack Frost” freezer at the famous string bean processing plant in South Jersey, where he and his beloved Beatrice resided. Beatrice supervised the plant, named “Cool Beans” after the plant’s dependence on refrigeration and motto “We freeze you Thaw.”
Bill was taking his daily 3 O’clock cool down when the freezer’s time clock latch malfunctioned, along with its failsafe mechanism and it couldn’t be turned off. Bill spent six hours in the freezer before the door could be opened. He was found standing up clutching a spray of string beans with a wry grin on his face, indicating that he was near death when he struck his pose. Beatrice dragged him to a waiting meat wagon to be whisked away to the morgue. The autopsy revealed he froze to death (no surprise), but Beatrice discovered the freezer had been tampered with, indicating that Bill Bailey was probably murdered. This opened up an opportunity for Beatrice to write a murder mystery with no solution. The novel was so bad, Beatrice could not find a publisher, so she self-published and sold nine copies over the course of as many years. Eventually, the book was made into the movie “Who Killed Bill?” that Beatrice payed for by lecturing on “The Fruits of Failure.” The movie flopped and Beatrice died at the overripe age of 103 in the “Weehawken Home for Aged Misanthropes.” Nobody came to her funeral and this meager entry is the only thing ever written about her, aside from her death certificate, which consisted of a filled-in form, which, aside from her name, and age, and cause of death, consisted of check boxes.
The Daily Trope 