Paroemion (par-mi’-on): Alliteration taken to an extreme where nearly every word in a sentence begins with the same consonant. Sometimes, simply a synonym for alliteration or for homoeoprophoron [a stylistic vice].
“Big black buggies bolted beyond the sidewalk, bounding, bounding, bounding. Beginning to backtrack, they bolted, their drivers yelled “bingo” as they binned the bugs they were bringing to the beach to dutifully drown.“
The passage above was penned by the great nineteenth-century alliterator, Boswell Bucky Buddy Brody Brown. He was the head of the movement “Alliterate! Astonish! Appeal!” As you can see from the passage, he strained to alliterate, hence his writing sometimes seemed insane, nonsensical—not worth worrying over or even reading. But, when he hit the mark, the mark was hit.
His book, Drink, Drank, Drunk, Repeat, gave the temperance movement a huge boost. He showed alcoholism was tied to hygiene regimens, wrongly inculcated in children at a young age. Drinking every day, mimicking the practice of taking a bath or shampooing every day, inculcated a desire for repetition of bodily effects—drinking was a degrading substitute for shampooing.
The “cure” proposed by Brown’s book was to take the “drunk” out the “drink, drank, drunk“ slogan and replace it with “don’t.” This was known as “Alliterative Therapy.” The Temperance Movement picked up on Brown’s teachings and began using them in their cause. Subsequently, a number of business and interest groups picked up on Brown’s teachings to “rehabilitate” businesses and social causes. “Weight Loss Plan” became “Weight Watchers. “Log Cabin Toys” became “Lincoln Logs.” “Racists United” became the “Ku Klux Klan.” “Wood Saws” became “Skil-Saws.” “Sticks in Holes” became “Tinker Toys.” The list goes on and on.
People’s prose projected the alliterative spirit. “Damned dunce” became a popular catchphrase denoting stupid people. “Fu*kin’” was placed adjacent to just about any word whose first letter was “f” as in “fu*kin’ fire” or “fu*kin’ farm or “fu*kin fart.” “Big” and “bad” inevitably appeared together, along with other “b” words: bed, broad, bagel, boned, “Bopper,” etc.
Some historians call the late nineteenth-century the “Age of Aggregated American Alliterationism” due to alliteration’s infusion into every aspect of American life. People wore red hats saying “Always Alliterate.”
However, near the turn of the century, Alliterationism was being eclipsed by the emergent Elocutionary Movement’s emphasis on voice and gesture. One of Alliterationism’s heroes, Frederick Flamingo Farmhouse Trump, raised the alarm: “Brokering bullshit, buffoonery, and bollocks, the Elocutionary Movement makes monumental misery a millstone around the necks of honest Americans acceding actively to its teachings everywhere. Beware! Beguilement is your bounty!”
Trump was ignored, because ignominy infused his ventures, and Allitterationism died. He had plagiarized Aristotle, Cicero, David, and the Apostle Paul, alliterating their writings to sound like his own. Former Alliterationists, following their newly adopted Elocutionary precepts, pointed their left foot to the east, clasped their hands to their breasts, and looked down at the ground whenever they heard his name.
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