Paromoiosis (par-o-moy-o’-sis): Parallelism of sound between the words of adjacent clauses whose lengths are equal or approximate to one another. The combination of isocolon and assonance.
My head was breaking, “Hi” led the areas’ shaking. Why? The dead were rising. There they were in my backyard, coming out of the ground like big stinking butterflies hovering over a cesspool.
I had waited for years for this. As a Zombieologist i have a keen interest in the living dead—what they wear, their favorite movies and sports, favorite food, concept of truth, mating habits, etc.
I had been robbing fresh graves for the past three weeks and burying the bodies in shallow graves around my back yard. We had had an unprecedented heat wave. It drove the bodies out of their graves to forage for victims in Canolla Park, where I live. It is a small town outside of Philadelphia, renowned for its cream cheese.
The heat wave had killed a large number of elderly people who didn’t believe in A/C. The scent of the dead helped turn the “just plain dead” buried in my back yard into the living dead, and along with the heat, prompted their rising.
I needed to work fast to get my research team together. We had a grant from “Blasto Refrigeration” testing the effects of freezing air on Zombies’ rising, but that’s not what we were about tonight. Tonight, we were conducting “life style views.” The three of us—me, Barbie Brooklyn, and Teddy Wrench—had recorders and wore white hazmat suits—signaling our inedibility, due to our consumption of a shitload of garlic. The suits said “Beware Garlic” on the front and back.
We had a successful night getting detailed answers to the questions below:
- When you’re on the prowl, what turns you on the most?
- When you bite into a hand, how does it compare with biting into a foot?
- If your mother could see you, what would she say?
- What is your favorite flavor human and what does it taste like? (“Chicken” is prohibited)
- What type of soil were you buried in?
- How often do you change your underwear?
- Can you still whistle?
- If you caught fire, how would it feel?
- Did you vote for Trump? Why/why not?
- Do you have a high school diploma?
We will use this data to determine, if any, the legal status of Zombies. we believe that their eating human flesh is all that sets us apart from them, and that building bridges across that difference will ameliorate the knee-jerk hostility toward their cultural practices and the rich tapestry of difference they display.
The Daily Trope 