Parrhesia

Parrhesia (par-rez’-i-a): Either to speak candidly or to ask forgiveness for so speaking. Sometimes considered a vice.

A: I’m sorry but somebody has to tell you this. Your husband has a terrible case of jock itch. I’m afraid he may pass it along to you as a yeast infection. The itching will drive you crazy. I just can’t stay silent.

B: How the hell do you know my husband has jock itch?

A: Oh, sorry. I saw him at the gym scratching his crotch like a dog with fleas. It was disgusting. He was whining. I keep some Lotramin spray in my locker. I told him he could borrow it. He yelled, “Yes!” When I brought it back he grabbed it out of my hand and ran toward the locker room like he had to pee or something. I yelled “FU” at him and he disappeared through the door. I went and stood by the door and I could hear the spraying sound of the can and his weird animal sounds, like was was humping the spray can.

B: Uh oh. I think he caught jock itch from me. I’ve been on this Paleolithic diet where I pretty much stopped bathing.

A: Oh my God, I’m glad it’s you and not me!

B: What?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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