Protrope

Protrope (pro-tro’-pe): A call to action, often by using threats or promises.

A. If you stop calling me “John Boy” I’ll buy you all the seasons of “The Waltons” and you can go to the motel nearby and watch them all, even if it takes a week. I’ll drop you off and you can call me when you’re done. Watching them all should burn you out on “John Boy” and give you an opening to call me by my real name, “Analon.” As you know, it’s an old family name dating to the 17th century when my family was revered for clearing constipated livestock. It was a professional name that became a surname, and then a first name popular among farmers and practitioners alike. I am proud of my heritage and proud of my whole name: Analon Buttmucker. For you, I will consider changing my last name, but not my first. I am seriously considering changing it to Butt, a shortened version of Buttmucker. I might even drop one of the t’s so as not to call attention to it’s origins in hind ends.

B. Ok Butt Boy. Ha ha. All right, I’m ready to start calling you Analon when I get back from my motel sojourn. But, I could be gone for a month—not a week. I’ll get that nice college boy who lives next store to drive me to the motel and help me move in. When the time comes, you can just stay here and work on your macrame placemats.

The DVDs arrive and she arrives a the Sugar Dunes Motel with the nice college boy.

C. That’s sure a lot of DVDs Ma’m. Where should I put ‘em?

B. On the dresser by the TV. Do you mind if I call you John Boy?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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