Synecdoche (si-nek’-do-kee): A whole is represented by naming one of its parts (or genus named for species), or vice versa (or species named for genus).

I got a new set of wheels for my birthday, man. I am so spoiled I could wing the rest of my life and nobody would care. My parents papered my bank account when I was ten, when they opened it. Knee deep in cabbage, everybody wants a piece of me—from soul men to hit men, everybody wants to rap with Johnnie. My cell goes off all day long while I sit in my room and fantasize about the future. My atomic tick tock tells me time is on my side.

Maybe it’s time to start to get my future started. I can be whatever I want to be as long as it doesn’t involve anything intellectual or hard, and especially, no technical knowledge—that’s for total nerds. Ooh—I could be a rock star! I can buy a backup-band. I could be the next Barry Manilow! How about these lyrics?

I like peanut butter

I like operating a crane

I read the obituaries

Just to look for your name

I can hear it on the satellite already. Fame. Concerts. Adoring fans. I’ll have a set of strings that I’ll buy from some rock star from the sixties who’s still alive. Maybe Eric Clap-on (or is it Clap-off?). Ha ha! How about Jimmy Buffett? I’ll have him eating out of my hand. Ha ha! I’ll have a little crank music box installed in my guitar that I can turn and make it sound like it’s playing. It will look sooooo cool.

Whoops, time to go to the Moon Drift casino for free lunch and craps! I never win, but they love me anyway.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (

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