Inopinatum (in-o-pi-na’-tum): The expression of one’s inability to believe or conceive of something; a type of faux wondering. As such, this kind of paradox is much like aporia and functions much like a rhetorical question or erotema. [A paradox is] a statement that is self-contradictory on the surface, yet seems to evoke a truth nonetheless [can include oxymoron].

What? Where is this going? To hell in a hand basket? Out the window? Over the rainbow? Or, as usual, to hell and back? You are so predictably unpredictable. Predictable: Endless crackbrained schemes. Unpredictable: Your latest scheme’s intent.

If you think I, or anybody else, will invest in your oatmeal cement, you’re nuts. The catchphrase “Pour a nutritious foundation“ won’t get you anywhere. Why do you keep this up? Mom’s at her wits end with the smells coming from the basement and the pounding. 30 years is long enough for Mom to support you and lie to you about how smart you are—Thomas Edison’s doppelgänger. Mom should win a Nobel Prize for tolerance. I wonder when you’ll win your Nobel Prize? When you’ll be world-famous? When you’ll go out of the house?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” ( Bracketed text added by Gorgias.

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