Daily Archives: April 25, 2021


Allegory (al’-le-go-ry): A sustained metaphor continued through whole sentences or even through a whole discourse.

“It was stolen! It was stolen!“ cried the Great Pretender. His papier-mâché hat was gone. The hat had “Bring Me Another Diet Coke” painted across the front with a photo of Walt Disney pasted on the front too, for the Great Pretender had modeled ‘his’ nation after Disneyland, naming its cabinet officials, colleagues, and enemies after Disney characters. For example, there was his loyal Attorney General Mr. Smee, his Secretary of defense Goofy, and his favorite colleague Snow White.

The Great Pretender treated everyone like cartoon characters, as if they weren’t real, as if they were stuffed toys scattered on the floor that he could kick around whenever he felt like it.

“I smell smoke! I smell smoke!” The Great Pretender cried, panic stricken. Out the window, his papier-mâché hat was in flames. As the fire rose higher, smoke began to come out his ears, his eyes glazed over and he fell to the floor, dead.

When the news spread of his demise, there was hooting and cheering throughout the land. People sang “Ding dong the dick is dead, the wicked dick is dead!” At that point “Good Old Joe” was anointed Leader of Land. The Great Pretender was buried in a landfill in The Tropical Place, and all was well. The children were released from their cages, taxes were raised on the obscenely rich, and Mitch the Impaler died of Thwarter’s Disease.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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