Allegory


Allegory (al’-le-go-ry): A sustained metaphor continued through whole sentences or even through a whole discourse.

Grecian Debt Krisis

There was this Greek who lived in a cave. His name was Agamomhen. Agamomhen’s cave was located on the edge of the Mountain of  Debt near the Valley of Austerity. Agamomhen had no pants, no wallet, no shirt, no car, no bicycle, no donkey, no MasterCard, no hat. However, he did possess the Magic Honey Jar.  When Agamomhen put his hand in the jar his fingers became sticky. But sticky fingers did not help.  For there was nothing he could stick to them anywhere near the Mountain of Debt.

Ah ha! Agamomhen thought, “I can woo Queen Merkle-Pickle of Germymany. She has much coal and good lager. With luck, my fingers may stick to her!”

So, Agamomhen covered himself with an empty can of Sun*Med giant beans and walked out into the sunlight.

He tripped over a bag of worthless drachma and tumbled down the steep slope of The Mountain of Debt. He lay badly injured in the hot dust, paperwork, and sheep dung littering the Valley of Austerity. Agamomhen gazed upon the empty bean can concealing his manhood.  It was dented. The label had been torn off by his fall. He peed in it while he waited for the government ambulance.

Bladder drained, Agamomhen felt good. Suddenly he heard the sirens! The OOOH-YOU ZONE Rescue Vehicle was coming!

As he was transported from the Valley of Austerity, Agamomhen struggled to look forward from his Binding Gurney. He couldn’t see where he was going.

Instead, the foul smells of schnapps, urine, bratwurst, and mustard coming from the front seat made Agamomhen wretch. From his Binding Gurney, all he could do was watch the swirling cloud of dust, paperwork, and sheep dung trailing behind the wailing OOH-YOU Rescue Vehicle.

Agamomhen could not help but think, “I should’ve stayed in my cave on the Mountain of Debt.”

Just then, the Rescue Vehicle hit a huge pothole. Agamomhen was thrown out the back into the cloud of dust, paperwork, and dung, still strapped to his Binding Gurney. To his great dismay Agamomhen landed in a fresh pile of sheep dung with the Binding Gurney now strapped firmly to his back. He was injured, immobile, and stranded on the floor of  The Valley of Austerity. Through the dust and litter Agamomhen could barely see the hand waving from the departing Rescue Vehicle’s driver’s side window. It’s middle finger was extended.

Emptied of its unwanted passenger, the OOH-YOU Rescue Vehicle raced madly toward Bruzzels leaving six or seven empty schnapps bottles and two to three jars of mustard in its wake.

  • Post your own allegory on the “Comments” page!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

 

2 responses to “Allegory

  1. I will stick with allegories on the banks of the Nile.

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