Apodixis (a-po-dix’-is): Proving a statement by referring to common knowledge or general experience.
Him: You look old. You have gray hair, You are old.
Her: How do you know I didn’t dye it gray?
Him: You’re kidding, right? Who the hell would want to look old?
Her; There’s a difference between ‘old’ and ‘older.’
Him: What? Old, older, who cares?
Her: Look, we’ve been on this date for fifteen minutes and already you’ve insulted me and hurt my feelings.
Him: It’s just common sense: gray hair=old. Get over it.
Her: It’s also just common sense that you don’t call a person old just because of their hair color, or call a person old to their face after knowing them for a few minutes—on a first date no less! You’re supposed to be on your best behavior.
Him: Anybody would’ve said what I said—it’s cause and effect—it’s there for everybody to see. You’re old.
Her: Look at me. Is my face wrinkled? I’m not wearing a bra—do you see any sagging? What about my butt? Go ahead and drool asshole. My hair’s natural color is gray. Half the people in my family inherit it. My hair’s been gray ever since I’ve had hair. You don’t know the difference between bias, jumping to conclusions, and common sense. You don’t understand the fact that many damaging prejudices hide behind common sense or “conventional wisdom.” That’s why I’m throwing this glass of water in your face and going home. I’ll take an Uber, Bozo.
Him: Wow! Typical woke bitch. Yeah—you go home. That’s where you belong—with your goddamn cat and you Earl Gray tea. Get lost granny.
Her: Don’t call me, message me, or email me. You are a pig.
POSTSCRIPT
He got lonely. She was the tenth woman he had alienated in as many days. There was something wrong with them. He couldn’t say anything about anything without making them mad. It wasn’t his fault. They had no common sense.
He went on the web and purchased a Japanese companion robot. She had the built-in compliance option. When she came in the mail, he was beyond excited. He plugged her in to charge her up and sat down in the living room, on the couch, to read the owner’s manual, and also, decide on a name for her. He decided to call her “Sushi-Q.” He thought that was pretty funny.
On the back cover of the manual in huge red letters it said “WARNING.” It said: “Under no circumstances allow your companion robot access to cutlery, screwdrivers, electric drills, or other implements that could cut and/or penetrate human skin.” He dismissed the warning and went to bed. He couldn’t wait! When Sushi-Q was charged up and ready to go he was going to put her humper-motor on high speed and have the ride of his life!
The next morning, he was found by his cleaning lady with 11 steak knives in his back, dead on the kitchen floor. If he had any common sense whatsoever, he would’ve heeded the warning on the back cover of the companion robot’s manual. The companion robot was found covered with blood wearing a bathrobe hiding in the basement with a steak knife in each hand. The police couldn’t find Sushi-Q’s off-on switch, so they unloaded their Glocks into her head. That’s when they discovered there was a real woman masquerading inside the companion doll’s life-like silicone skin. She had gray hair.
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu
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