Category Archives: apagoresis

Apagoresis (a-pa-gor’-e-sis): A statement designed to inhibit someone from doing something. Often uses exaggeration [or hyperbole] to persuade. It may combine an exaggeration with a cause/effect or antecedent/consequence relationship. The consequences or effects of such a phrase are usually exaggerated to be more convincing.

Ms. Cleaver was admonishing me again. She was supposed to be my 5th grade teacher, but she was a nag. Almost everything I did was deserving of a warning. No matter what it was that I did wrong, she would say “If you keep doing that, you’ll poke your eye out.” For example, I crumpled up a piece of paper and tossed it into the wastebasket by her desk. I tossed it from my front-tow seat and I never missed. I had no idea how tossing a crumpled piece of paper would poke my eye out. I got the message though. Ms. Cleaver didn’t want me doing the paper-throwing thing, but the poked-out eye consequence was so unrelated to it, that I didn’t listen. The only consequence I could think of was Ms. Cleaver’s ire. But her ire wasn’t enough to deter me. I spent a lot of time after school writing “I won’t . . .” On the blackboard. That had no effect on me whatsoever. I had developed an interest in calligraphy and chalk was an excellent medium for practicing. I could do a typewriter Pica font that looked like somebody had typewritten on the blackboard. Ms. Cleaver was not impressed. She told me if I kept writing like a typewriter “You’re going to poke your eye out.”

Then, one afternoon when I was being detained after class, I noticed Ms. Cleaver was acting like she was twisting something around in her eye. It was her eye! She pulled it out and placed it on a paper towel. It was a glass eye & she was cleaning it with a cloth.

I asked her why she only had one eye. She told me: “When I was your age, I didn’t listen to my mother and poked my eye out playing pick-up sticks with my brother.” Now I understood her one-track warning, “You’ll poke your eye out.” I could see how sad she was sitting there cleaning her eye. I decided to make her a paper snowflake to hang in her window. I grabbed a sheet of paper and Ms. Cleaver’s scissors from her desk. I started walking to my desk. Ms. Cleaver yelled, “No, no! Don’t do that! You’ll poke your eye out!”

She was right, I poked my eye out. My foot got tangled in my backpack on the floor. I came crashing down with the sharp end of the scissors pointing straight at my eye. Ms. Cleaver called 911.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

The Daily Trope is available on Amazon in paperback under the title of The Book of Tropes for $9.95. It is also available in Kindle format for $5.99.

Apagoresis (a-pa-gor’-e-sis): A statement designed to inhibit someone from doing something. Often uses exaggeration [or hyperbole] to persuade. It may combine an exaggeration with a cause/effect or antecedent/consequence relationship. The consequences or effects of such a phrase are usually exaggerated to be more convincing.

“If you don’t stop drinking that crap it will turn your kidneys green.” Uncle Phil was sure he would get me to put down my favorite beverage and never pick it up again. He was wrong. So what if my kidneys turned green? Nobody would see them, and their colorization did me no harm. I was a running, jumping, climbing, healthy kid.

My beverage of choice, “Lime Lip,” came in 2” high wax bottles in a handy little six-pack. You bit off the top of the little wax bottle, and downed the contents—lime-flavored green sugar syrup. It was the heaviest hit of “sweet” that could be had from any candy. My uncle should’ve pointed out that it turned your lips and tongue an other-worldly green—like a diseased putting green. It became a sort of membership display. You’d see another kid on the street with green lips and you’d give each other a little wave of acknowledgement, without saying a word. It was so cool.

I scraped up all my money and went to the candy store: The Sugar Bowl. Mr. Metcalf, the store’s owner, had the usual dazed expression on his face, accented by his green lips and hardly visible green drool. I told him I wanted a case of “Lime Lip.” He went into the back room and came back to the counter holding a case of “Lime Lip.” He said, “Watch out for this stuff kid, if you drink more than three bottles a day, your kidneys will turn green.” I said, “So what. Who cares what color my kidneys are?” He said: “You should care. Eventually your blood will turn green. If you bleed in public, you will create panic among people unfamiliar with ‘Lime Lip’ and there will be stampedes and people will be crushed. Many of them will believe you are a space alien and try to kill you.”

Holy crap! How can that be true? If it was true “Lime Lip” would be banned by the FDA. All I could see was Mr. Metcalf’s demented face and the “Lime Lip” dripping from his chin. Why was he telling me this? I didn’t want to be killed by a mob, but now I knew there was some kind of conspiracy afoot. I concluded that Mr. Metcalf is from outer space, but I couldn’t tell anybody or they would think I’m crazy. But, one way or the other, I determined never to drink another drop of “Lime Lip.” I also wondered briefly, how my Uncle knew it would turn my kidneys green. I was hesitant to confront him. I don’t want to die.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

The Daily Trope is available on Amazon in paperback under the title of The Book of Tropes for $9.95. It is also available in Kindle format for $5.99.