Paroemion (par-mi’-on): Alliteration taken to an extreme where nearly every word in a sentence begins with the same consonant. Sometimes, simply a synonym for alliteration or for homoeoprophoron [a stylistic vice].
Tomato trees towered tremendously tall. It was part of a fabled garden that was hidden away somewhere in South Jersey, where the “Garden State” got its name from. Somewhere near the Pine Barrens, but where the soil is rich and fertile—probably the best dirt in the USA.
My uncle Sal told me he had seen the tomato trees. He was drunk and had lost his shoes. He was crawling along fearing he would die and become a pile of dirt. Then, he lost his pants, panicked, and started screaming, still crawling along faster. Suddenly, a fairy princess with a perfectly red round ripe tomato abdomen popped out of the bushes.
Uncle Sal was terrified. He begged her to have mercy on him. She said “I will do better than that. I will show you the giant tomato trees.” Uncle Sal thought he was delirious until the Fairy Princess gave him a giant grocery bag with arm holes and a hole for his head to wear in place of his lost pants.
They started their trek. Uncle Sal was barefoot. He complained to the Fairy Princess and she pulled two gigantic bell peppers from her bag, and put a slit in each one, and shoved them on Sal’s feet. He was relieved. Then, she tied a vine around his neck like a leash and told him to close his eyes and open them when she told him to. He followed her instructions because she told him she would turn him into a slug if he didn’t.
She told him to open his eyes and there were the tomato trees! They were as tall of redwood trees. The tomatoes were gigantic—the size of hot air balloons. Then, the Fairy Princess waved her wand at Uncle Sal and he woke up on a park bench hugging an empty bottle of Mr. Boston. His pepper shoes and paper-bag suit were gone. He was cold lying there in his underpants. He was arrested and spent the night in the Chatsworth Town Jail where he was given a pair of used tuxedo pants and a pair of well-worn pleather loafers.
Nobody believed Uncle Sal’s story—nobody, not one person, not one single bit.
Definitions courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).
The Daily Trope is available on Amazon in paperback under the title of The Book of Tropes for $9.95. It is also available in Kindle format for $5.99.
The Daily Trope 