Comprobatio (com-pro-ba’-ti-o): Approving and commending a virtue, especially in the hearers.

There is lead. There is silver. There is gold. But platinum is more precious than all three put together. It endures. It is useful—from jewelry to dental implants. It is valuable: today it is $1,030.00 per ounce. This is why we’ve named our annual award for excellence “The Platinum Prism Award” after platinum’s many praiseworthy facets.

It is never easy to choose the Award’s recipient. As you know, to make the decision, we placed a judge in each of the seven finalists’ homes. They observed the finalists. They made mischief. They threatened them. They walked around the house naked. They let the air out of the finalists’ car tires. They didn’t remove their shoes when entering the finalists’ houses. And more.

We all know the “Platinum Prism Award” comes with a $2,000,000 cash prize. For this amount of money, people will do just about anything. This year’s winner did just that! I am pleased and humbled to introduce this year’s recipient of “The Platinum Prism Award,” Ciggy Butler. Mr. Butler works on Line B, assembling key rings. You’ll notice he is wearing an eye patch. Simply because he was asked to, Mr Butler donated his eye to a medical facility somewhere in Asia. Bravo Mr. Butler! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!

Mr. Butler is one of us! His diligence and devotion to duty are instilled in all of us. Nevertheless, Ciggy went the extra quarter-mile. We should all aspire to go the extra quarter-mile, and that aspiration itself is praiseworthy: it’s platinum. We are all platinum!

Mr. Butler, would you like to say a few words?

Mr. Butler: Yes. When do I get the cash prize?

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (

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