Hypallage (hy-pal’-la-ge): Shifting the application of words. Mixing the order of which words should correspond with which others. Also, sometimes, a synonym for metonymy (see Quintilian).

I slugged down a curled shot of vodka, spilling a little drop on my chin. This was going to be another flotsam night, sitting in my underwear, staring at the wall, getting drunk.

I was already looking forward to going to work tomorrow. I work at a pie factory. I specialize in pumpkin. After 14 years at the mixing bowl and oven, I smell like pumpkin spice. I’ve tried everything I can think of to get the smell off, but it won’t go away. The up side is that it smells a little bit like the hypermanly after shave “Old Spice.” It attracts women like a flock of moths to a flame. That’s the down side too. I’ve started staying home and drinking because the women in pursuit of me and my smell are driving me crazy.

I’d wake up in the morning with a beautiful woman and tell her I had to go to work soon. She would start to get dressed, and like all the rest, ask politely for a sniff before she left. If I said no, all hell would break loose—I would be chased around my apartment by a snorting begging woman until I locked myself in the bathroom. You don’t want to know the rest, believe me.

I am so grateful that no women work at the pie factory. I make my pies in peace.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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