Dialogismus (di-a-lo-giz’-mus): Speaking as someone else, either to bring in others’ points of view into one’s own speech, or to conduct a pseudo-dialog through taking up an opposing position with oneself.

In 1967 Tammy Wynette sang,

“Last night all alone in a barroom met a man with a drink in his hand.
He had baby blue eyes, coal black hair, and a smile that a girl understands.
Then he came and sat down at my table and as he placed his hand over mine,
I found myself wanting to kiss him for temptation was flowing like wine . . . “

Tammy, what were you thinking? If you hadn’t seen the reflection of your wedding band in that guy’s eyes when you were dancing, you may have had the time of your life! Instead, you went home.

That’s why unfaithful spouses should own, exchange, and wear EZ-OFF Wedding Bands.

When “maybe” is the first word that occurs to you when you’re asked to say “I do,” the EZ-OFF Wedding Band is just what you need! Designed in 14 “gold” and cleverly disguised as a legitimate wedding band, the EZ-OFF looks, feels, and wears like the “real” thing! And it’s high tech too!

To remove the EZ-OFF, simply put your wedding band hand in your pocket, tap the code into your ring with your thumb, and that symbol of eternal love expands and silently glides off your finger on its retractable patented micro-wheels!

No more awkward pulling and tugging on the ring under the table! No more “I have to go to the restroom for a minute” to soap-up and twist off!  Never again will you have to explain that you wear a wedding band in memory of your dead spouse!

Tammy, it’s 2014! Don’t let those old-fashioned wedding bands keep your granddaughters and grandsons from steppin’ out!

Imagine, Tammy, if you had an EZ-OFF back in ’67! Mmmmm hmmmm!

Well, YOU–yes, you, you lusty viewer can have an EZ-OFF now! That’s right! Right now!

But you ask: How much is the EZ-OFF?

Well get ready because it’s not $1,000,000,000.00! It’s not even $500,000.00. Right now today or tonight or tomorrow, you can have your very own solid 14 “gold” EZ-OFF Wedding Band for the low low price of 50 payments of  $9.99!!

But wait, that’s not all! If you are one the first 14,000 soulless wretches to call within the next 20 minutes, we’ll throw in an additional EZ-OFF free of charge! Give it as a gift to one of your cheating lying friends! Sell it on E-Bay! Hang it from your rear view mirror! Yup–it’s yours to do with as you will, totally free of charge!


Call: 1-800-TO-CHEAT! Robo-prompters are standing by to tell you which buttons to press on your phone!

Don’t wait! You deserve it! Call: 1-800-TO-CHEAT without delay.

Don’t miss the next opportunity to “grab some fun!”

Don’t be a boo hoo 1967 Tammy!

Call: 1-800-TO-CHEAT!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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