Hendiadys (hen-di’-a-dis): Expressing a single idea by two nouns [joined by a conjunction] instead of a noun and its qualifier. A method of amplification that adds force.
Shoes and socks. They go together. They belong together, like me and my suspenders. They hold up my pant like legs, hold up a table, or a bridge abutment. I recommend them even if you’re not overweight and you still have a waistline. They will not hold up your pants any better than a belt, but they may save your life!
I was exploring in the “Valley of the Sun.” I was young and tubby, so I wore suspenders to hold up my jungle shorts, graced with 16 pockets. I carried dental floss, a compass, bug repellent, dry socks, a band aid, a pencil stub, a pocket knife, and a wash cloth. I had duly memorized the location of each item in my pants’ pockets. The pockets with flaps were sealed with Velcro for easy and swift opening. I thought everything was fine until I got lost.
I had wandered for four da toys. I was getting weak from hunger. I did not know what to do. Then, it hit me. I could fashion some kind of slingshot from my suspenders! I found a sizable stick and knotted my suspenders around one end. Then, I used the crosspiece where the suspenders straps overlap to hold my projectile. What I had was a sling rifle. I cut a little groove along the length of the stick that that I could rest my projectile in, which was a straight tree branch that I had made a point on by rubbing it back and forth on a stone. Now it was time to go hunting.
I decided if I crawled, I would be more likely to find something to shoot and eat, by blending into the jungle floor. Ah ha! There was a creature the size of a rabbit. I was shocked when it said, “Don’t shoot and eat me, and I’ll show you where you can get something really good to eat. My meat is bitter and tough.” I was delirious, so I followed him. In about ten minutes, we came to a bus stop on a highway. He said, “Get off at the Palm Station Stop. I waved and my sling rifle fired and missed his head by an inch. We laughed and I boarded the bus. The restaurant at Palm Station was fantastic. I had a zebra pasta with cream sauce, green salad, and 3 beers.
Oh—but how did my suspenders actually save my life? I was hiking the Grim Reaper Trail (Rastro de la Muerte) in Bolivia. It tilts away from the cliff side that it follows. When it is wet, it is easy to slide off the edge and die. But, the views are spectacular—like nowhere else in the world. There was a downpour and the trail became as slippery as ice. There was no handhold. I slid off the edge doomed to die from the 100 foot fall. I maneuvered my back to the wall. My suspenders caught on a rock outcropping five feet from the ground. I bounced up and down a couple of times. Then, I unbuttoned my suspenders and dropped to the ground. My suspenders had saved my life.
Well, there you have it. Wear suspenders. End of story.
Definitions courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).
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