Homoeopropophoron: Alliteration taken to an extreme where nearly every word in a sentence begins with the same consonant. Sometimes, simply a synonym for alliteration or paroemion [a stylistic vice].
“Chunky cracks climbed the wall in winding warped lines filled with ancient dirt, dreamy and desolate like wilted lilies limply bending in their vases, funeral funnels flowing fumes of death.”
This is an example of cnsonants at the start of nearly every word. It is called homoeoprophoron.
I have friend, Peter Piper, who speaks in homoeoprophoron. He is adept and his speech flows like normal speech—no hesitation, or searching for the right word. Unfortunately, he frequently make no sense. As a very wealthy person, he has hired a rhetorician, Dr. Corax Jones, formally of Stanford University, to translate for him. They go everywhere together. They even sleep in the same room, which is a great help to Peter’s quality of life. When Peter’s girlfriend sleeps over, Dr. Jones translates Peter’s speech, most of it romantic. The translations bring Peter and his girlfriend closer together, forming a firm foundation for their love.
Dr. jones has confided to me that half the time he can’t understand Peter and makes things up. Half the time, Peter doesn’t know what he’s saying either, so it works. Now, Dr. Jones has fallen in love with Peter’s girlfriend. He has considered getting in bed with them, but that would be too bold. He feels like Cyrano de Bergerac and is thinking of wooing Peter’s girlfriend. It will be impossible to get away with, but Peter is frequently distracted by his pickled pepper business—out in the garden picking pecks and pecks of pepper to pickle.
Things started slowing down between Peter and his girlfriend. This was the opportunity that Dr. Jones was waiting for. He told Peter, using his rhetorical skills, he would “spice up” Peter’s romantic speech. When bed time came, all Peter had to do was wink—that would be the signal for Dr. Jones to speak his own words of love.
Peter saiid: “Cracking clams cartwheel, crazy camshafts colored cranberry.”
Dr. Jones said: “I’m on fire for you. My love is a bright blaze burning in my soul. Your gaze rivets me to the wall of truth. I must have yo!”
The girlfriend was making soft moaning sounds and looking at Dr.Jones, her eyes shining. She knew what was going on. She looked at Peter who, as the most easily distracted person she knew, had started playing with his Nintendo and hadn’t heard a word that Dr. Jones had said. But she had.
And this is how Dr. Jones stole Peter Piper’s girlfriend. He kept his job with Peter, who never suspected a thing. After he stole her, Dr. Jones wrote a little homoeoprophoron celebrating Peter’s idiocy: “Dipshit dimwits dig dreadful ditches dancing dirty desires, down, down, down.” She laughed and they went to bed.
Definitions courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).
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