Repotia

Repotia (re-po’-ti-a): 1. The repetition of a phrase with slight differences in style, diction, tone, etc. 2. A discourse celebrating a wedding feast.

Ed, here, is in the Guinness Book of World Record for greatest number of marriages in the shortest period of time. He takes pride in the fact he’s called the “Annulment King” and that there’s a country Western song about him titled “Time to Get Married.” The song’s chorus is “I’ve had 22, now it’s time for you. Don’t take a second look, we’re headed for the record book.”

And here he is today, with Joyce, headed for the record book. More than likely, they won’t be married more than a week, won’t consummate the marriage, and will head directly to Billy’s lawyer for the usual turn of events. I asked Joyce why she was doing this and she told me Billy paid her $500 in cash; she was behind on her student loan payments and really needed the cash. She had met Billy in the bus station when she was leaving town for a fresh start. Billy laid out the $500 deal and she took it. They went straight to town hall, bought a license, and made the arrangements for the wedding. And what arrangements they made!

The coolers of beer up and down the aisles, the artificial flowers from the Dollar Store, and Joyce’s wedding dress—the last one in her size on the rack at the Salvation Army Thrift Store. The dress has a story to tell—turn around Joyce. Can you see the small hole with an almost purple stain around it? That’s why they gave the dress to Joyce for free. The previous owner was shot in the back on her wedding day by the guy she had jilted 2 days before. It was a mess, but she survived. Her jilted lover had used a pellet gun and the projectile had barely broken the skin. Take a bow Joyce!

And Billy, you’re about to take another spin in the revolving door of your marriages. I asked Billy; “Why? Why do you do this? It makes you look crazy.” He told me he is ab addict. That he can’t help himself. That he is addicted to weddings. The gravity of the promises made pull him back every time, and the prospect of making them again, pushes him to divorce.” I can understand that Billy—but why don’t you try to stick with Joyce for a week and a half.” That would be a record for you. Ha! Ha!

Well, you two are married now. Let’s toast these two and then grab a hot dog off the grill before they burn. Here’s to you Billy and Joyce—May the hours you spend as Mr. And Mrs. Pracket go by quickly, and may you go your separate ways in peace.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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