Traductio (tra-duk’-ti-o): Repeating the same word variously throughout a sentence or thought. Some authorities restrict traductio further to mean repeating the same word but with a different meaning (see ploce, antanaclasis, and diaphora), or in a different form (polyptoton). If the repeated word occurs in parallel fashion at the beginnings of phrases or clauses, it becomes anaphora; at the endings of phrases or clauses, epistrophe.
The porch was big. The front door was big. The house was big. It was where Grammy and Grampy lived. They liked everything big. When I say “big” I’m not kidding. Their front door was rwelve feet tall and five feet wide. The door knob was the size a a hubcap and they key weighed three pounds. They had ladders to climb up on the couch and arm chairs. The pile on the carpet was one foot deep and was patterned with dancing ducks and chipmunks. The television was the size of a ping pong table hanging on the wall. The kitchen stove was like a smelter. I wasn’t allowed in the bathroom, but there was a normal size guest bathroom I used when I visited,
Grampy had made billions in the “Advice” business. His advice was always on target for the people he gave it to, whether it was good or bad.”Escalate the bombing” was among the worst. He gave that advice to Henry Kissinger at the height of the Vietnam War. Then there was the Falklands War, and more. The best piece of advice he ever gave was to Santa Claus. Rudolph “with his nose so bright” had been permanently disabled playing in the 1989 Reindeer Games in Iceland. Grampy advised Santa to get a GPS so he wouldn’t get lost. He also advised Santa to get a pair of LL Bean Arctic Adventure Insulated Boots. Santa had lost 2 toes the previous year, and now, with his circulation affected by his age, he needed to do something. I don’t know, but maybe Grampy saved Christmas.
All the “big” in Grampy and Grammy’s lives is the result of a neurosis that can’t be managed with medication. They tried Ketamine but got the sensation they were melting into the floor. After drinking 4 cups of black coffee, the sensation went away and was replaced by a sort squeaking sound and a soft breeze coming out of their ears. It went away on its own after four hours. We ere all relieved, but it did not affect their perception of being big.
Grampy and Grammy suffered from Megalo Psevdaisthisi: Size Illusion. It stems from an unwarranted fear of Goliath—the giant killed by David in the Bible. The victim “has to be big” in the event Goliath comes looking for them. It is highly unusual that husband and wife both suffer from Size Illusion, but Grampy and Grammy were in a Bible study group when they were children. They read David and Goliath and both still remember being terrified, Still, the name Goliath triggers tremors and feeble cowering. It is disconcerting.
Being surrounded by oversized things comforts my grandparents. I often wonder what it would be like if they couldn’t afford the big things. I sought out a husband and wife who who suffered from Size Illusion and could not afford big stuff. I rang the doorbell and there was panicked screaming from inside. The door opened and there was the husband aiming a slingshot at my head. Husband and wife, whimpering, backed under the dining room table. At that point I had had enough and I left. How sad.
My grandfather had some big chairs stored in his garage. I sent one to the people I had visited. I hope it helps them cope.
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)
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