Adage

Adage (ad’-age): One of several terms describing short, pithy sayings, or traditional expressions of conventional wisdom.

“If you can’t stand the heat, don’t move to Florid.,” This is one of my favorite sayings—layered with meaning and steeped in wisdom. My father was a weatherman on Channel 26–local cable access TV . He made up the saying after taking a trip to Florida and suffering heat stroke when he was on the beach with a college professor from New York who was studying sand with a grant from her college. She had a little tin bucket with pictures of sea horses on it. Dad told me she would fill it with sand, walk ten paces, and dump it out. Then she would measure the degree to which the sand retained the shape of the bucket and its fitness for utilization in the building of a sandcastle.

Dad had gotten heat stroke when he and the professor were exercising on an isolated stretch of beach. They were doing push-ups when dad’s symptoms overtook him and he started shaking all over, and then, collapsed face down. The Professor was able the fill her bucket with water and throw it in Dad’s face. The bucket of water may have saved him. The paramedics rolled Dad into the ocean and cooled him down. He was as good as new, except he had misplaced his bathing suit. The paramedics wrapped him in a wet towel and he was able to walk down the beach to his hotel. The Professor was waiting in his room, holding his bathing suit. She joined him in the shower to help him wash off the salty residue from the seawater.

As Dad’s story unfolded, it became clear that he was trying to gloss over an affair he had had. When confronted, he denied any wrong doing. Since Mom was involved with Nick, one of the black jack dealers at “Sunrise Sunset” casino, she didn’t push it.

As a kid, my parents’ cheating was a real benefit. Separately, I swore to both of my parents that I wouldn’t rat them out. I got trips to Florida and my own giant room at the casino. The Professor had a daughter named Margarita. She was a little older than me. She would accompany her mom on her Florida trips. She told me her father was Dean of Faculty and was on leave due to embezzling charges. We laughed and lit another joint. Then dad’s saying occurred to me: “if you can’t stand the heat, don’t move to Florida.” After coming to understand the sordid details of his life, I think I understand the saying’s metaphorical import, and how he was mocking Mom whenever he said it. Mom had her own saying: “We cannot change the cards we are dealt.” I think she was somehow talking about Nick—her dealer/lover.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)

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