Adnominatio (ad-no-mi-na’-ti-o): 1. A synonym for paronomasia[punning]. 2. A synonym for polyptoton. 3. Assigning to a proper name its literal or homophonic meaning.
John. Just plain John. “Hey toilet, how’s it going?” “Have you had a flush lately?” “Don’t forget to close your lid.” “Can you make that whooshing sound!” I was ten years old and my friends had figured out to make puns and tease, and hurt my feelings. I tried “Carl the car” on my friend Carl and he just laughed and held his nose and laughed and said “You smell toilet boy!” I had to find somebody with a name I could effectively make fun of. I looked in the phone book.
I found a person named Gooey Binsky. They lived down the block. I made up a taunt: “Are you gooey? Are you sticking with it?” A woman wearing a bathrobe answered the door. She looked really tired and sad. I asked her”Are you gooey?” “Yes.” She replied. “Are you sticking with it?” She said, “I’m trying my best. This skin condition will be the death of me. I have a skin condition that makes my skin gooey. When I have an outbreak, I need to be wrapped in gauze bandages and sit by a warm oven. “Gooey” is me nickname. I hate it, but my dead father gave it to me. He thought it was funny. I’ve kept it to honor his memory. He died in prison for racketeering.”
I felt sick. This poor woman’s life was messed up, and I might have made it an even bigger mess. I ran off her front porch and ran home feeling guilty and remorseful. I went CVS and spent my life savings on gauze bandages. I left them on Gooey’s front porch, rang the doorbell, and ran away. I felt a lot better and did not care any more if people teased me about my name.
Then, the next week Gooey was on the front page of the local newspaper. The headline read: Local Woman Hangs Herself With Gauze Bandages.” She had a note pinned to her; “Thanks to the little boy who gave me these bandages and gave me a way out of my miserable life.”
I felt really bad. I didn’t know what to do. The CVS clerk had identified me and the police had questioned me. They told me I was a “suspect” and not to leave town. Eventually, it was determined that I hadn’t done anything wrong.
People still made fun of my name. I didn’t care any more. In honor of her memory, I had taken Gooey’s nickname and made it my own. There was a lot of teasing focused on it, but the reason behind the nickname was like armor protecting me from the insults.
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)
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