Synzeugma (sin-zoog’-ma): That kind of zeugma in which a verb joins (and governs) two phrases by coming between them. A synonym for mesozeugma.
I was going without a second thought. I’d been watching stupid streaming Australian doctor shows on Prime TV for too long. I had developed a slight Australian accent, including learning slang. I had a pretty good idea of maladies and accidents Australians suffered from—mostly infections, broken bones and cancer. The one thing that bothered me a lot was how promiscuous they are. In one episode this woman has sex in the supply room on her first day of work. Then, she feels guilty about it and tells her son!
So, I was on my way out—on a date with an Australian woman. We rode in my Subaru Outback to Outback Steak House. I had heard they served kangaroo meat there, had dancing Kuala Bears, techno didgeridoo music, and sang “Waltzing Matilda” every half-hour. None of this was true accept for the singing. But my date Baahbrah more than made up for it. We were drinking giant cans of Foster’s beer and having a great time. She had unbuttoned her blouse half-way down and pulled it open when we sang “Waltzing Matilda.” I unbuttoned my shirt too and put my arm around her. It was great getting out and being with a live human being! I told her “Crikey, this is the most fun I’ve had in a couple of years!”
She stiffened, she frowned, and she squinted. Her fingers went white-knuckle on her Foster’s can, and she crushed it. She flipped over our table and stomped out the door, calling an Uber on her cellphone.
I called her the next day and she hung up. Finally, after a week she took my call. I asked her what the hell had happened. “It was the Crikey,” she told me. “You misused it. And what is worse, it was the last thing my father said before he died.” They were riding to shear sheep and their Land Rover ran over a didgeridoo that had somehow ended up in the middle of the road. Her Dad swerved and the Land Rover flipped over. Her Dad wasn’t buckled in and he flew 10 feet. When she got to him he said “Crikey” and died of a fractured skull. She found out that the didgeridoo was put there so he would stop and be robbed. It was the work of the “Finks,” a notorious biker gang who specialized in “stop and steal” operations. For some reason they didn’t rob Baahbrah and her father.
Although I could understand her feeling, I thought her behavior was bizarre, and that she was probably a little crazy. But I let it slide. I was so desperately lonely I would’ve dated Freddy Kruger or the Wicked Witch of the West or Ma Barker.
Every once-in-while I say “Crikey” very softly so she doesn’t know whether she’s hearing things. I ask her what’s matter and she tells me she heard a voice say “Crikey.” I assure her that can’t be true, all the time laughing to myself. I know it’s cruel, but I can’t help it. I like living on the edge.
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)
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