Appositio (ap-po-sit’-i-o): Addition of an adjacent, coordinate, explanatory or descriptive element.
This was going to be the best day I ever had—the stars were aligned like they had never been aligned before. The most powerful sign was astrological. My sign is Capricorn, the goat. Once in 1million years Polaris would be in the sky directly over my goat barn. This is a monumental event.
I was sitting in my goat barn waiting for something to happen. After three hours with no cosmic event. I was about to give up when I noticed my goats were gathering in their outside pen. Surely, this had some significance. Like all goats they liked to climb up on things and stand there going “Meh,” but tonight they climbed up on each other and made a pyramid like Chinese acrobats. I walked inside the pyramid. I was spun around in circles turning red and blue. I could feel my body changing. My arms turned into legs, I grew a goatee and a nice set of horns. I could only speak in Meh. The goats disassembled the pyramid and I was left standing there. One of the goats said to me in meh, “This used to be my farm. One night, I got sucked into the pyramid thing just like you. I tried everything to get back to my human form—wearing pants, taking baths in the water trough, going for rides with you on the tractor.” “What now?” I asked.
“There is a wizard in the Dell who actually owns the farm and turns his tenants into goats so he can rent the farm to a new tenant at a higher price and make more money. It sounds like a pretty stupid idea, but Dell wizards are not known for their intelligence.” my new friend said. “We must visit him,” I said.
We did not know what a Dell looked like, so it took awhile to find the Wizard. He lived in a hovel—if you leaned on it it could fall down. He aimed a pitchfork at us and asked in Meh, “What do you want with me?” I said, “We want to be made human again.” He said, “I thought you’d never ask” and rainbow flames shot out of his pitchfork. The pitchfork malfunctioned. We were turned into fauns. At least we were Hal human! The wizard apologized.
We were feeling lustful. We headed into town to see if we could live up to our ready-made reputations. Our first stop was Betty Boom Boom’s Brothel. Just imagine! The next morning, when I awoke, Betty herself was snuggled up next to me. She asked me if I wanted to be Manager-in-chief of her brothel. I said “Yes, as long as I can have one large fresh carrot per day and you’ll dispose of my annoying fellow traveler.” Betty said, “Done and done.” Later that day, there was a frightful squealing sound out in the yard.
I couldn’t bring my self to look. I was a faun. I was running a brothel. What could be better?
Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu)
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