Procatalepsis


Procatalepsis (pro-cat-a-lep’-sis): Refuting anticipated objections.

I have six credit cards. Each one has a $12,000.00 limit. None of them has a balance. There’s nothing stopping us from buying that cow. We’ve got the money. We can rent a truck and drive her back to Brooklyn. There’s room for her to live in the parking garage below our condo–in our designated parking space. There may be a few minor difficulties, like the law, and food, and the smell, but we can shuttle her poop in big garbage bags and buy her food at the pet store. I’m sure they have cow food–if they have snake and rabbit food, they’re sure to have cow food! As far as the law goes, hey, this is Brooklyn we’re talking about. Our neighbors keep chickens and nobody bothers them. They just hand over a package of thighs once and month. We can hand over milk.  

Well, that covers it. What are we going name her? What about “How Now”? You know, like in “how now brown cow.” Or maybe “Madam Melania” in honor of our nation’s First Lady? At any rate, we can discuss naming later. Let’s get the truck lined up.

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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