Asphalia


Asphalia (as-fay’-li-a): Offering oneself as a guarantee, usually for another.

To Whom It May Concern:

I can vouch for my nephew Sid. On the surface he looks like a dishonest, violent, reprobate. Those things that he’s done are completely out of character! I know Sid and he would have a good reason for “beating up” his girlfriend–we don’t have to know anything more than what he’s told us and one thing’s for sure Sid’s not a liar.  He’s pretty small and self-defense seems like a reasonable motive–somehow the little guy won the round this time. He must’ve figured out some winning boxing moves.

In short, Sid is a good boy.

As you probably know, I am writing this from my cell at Ossining. So, you know I have nothing to gain by lying, as I have been completely reformed and helping my nephew out of a scrape will never count toward my parole.

If I’m wrong about Sid, add another 10 years to my sentence! I (a beacon of good behavior) stand behind Sid 1,000 percent. Trust me! I wouldn’t con you!

Yours truly,

Ponzi

Ponzi McDough

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s