Daily Archives: October 29, 2016

Eulogia

Eulogia (eu-lo’-gi-a): Pronouncing a blessing for the goodness in a person.

You have gone above the call of duty. You have gone beyond the call of duty. I don’t know what ‘Duty’ says when it calls, maybe somethin’ like “Get off your butt” or “Get your head out of your ass.” And I don’t know how ‘Duty’ feels about you goin’ above and beyond it, but I’ll tell you Laura-Bob, we don’t care what duty thinks, feels, or says about anythin’ because we are grateful to you for saving our prize chicken Toni from the clothes dryer.

Elmo was bad for puttin’ her in there, but it gave you a chance to be good by pullin’ her out.

As you can see, we’ve given Elmo the spankin’ of a lifetime–why the back of his britches is smokin’ like a wet campfire. Ain’t that right Elmo? You little dickens!

So, to conclude this little speech: Laura-Bob, your goodness passes my ability to capture it in words. Let’s just say we and Toni are grateful you saved her. As a token of our forever thankfulness, we will be sure to give you Toni’s next egg. Elmo will deliver it with a smile on his regretful face. It may take a few days before she’s layin’ again, so just be patient–a promise is a promise–you’ll get that egg, special from Toni.

Thank you.

  • Post your own eulogia on the “Comments” page!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Post your own eulogia on the “Comments” page!

Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).