Monthly Archives: January 2016

Skotison

Skotison (sko’-ti-son): Purposeful obscurity.

As I speak, a plan is being planned–a plan so well-planned that its planners plan to be nominated for the “Best Plan Ever Award!”

I can’t give you specifics right now, but I plan on doing so as soon as the planners give me the green light–right now the light’s red, but surely it will turn green, and as soon as it turns green, the plan will be known!

All hail the planners!

For their plan will be wise, and we will be the beneficiaries of the planners’ well-planned plan!

Rejoice!

Surely, a bright future awaits us!

We shall be blessed with a plan!

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

Syllepsis

Syllepsis (sil-lep’-sis): When a single word that governs or modifies two or more others must be understood differently with respect to each of those words. A combination of grammatical parallelism and semantic incongruity, often with a witty or comical effect. Not to be confused with zeugma: [a general term describing when one part of speech {most often the main verb, but sometimes a noun} governs two or more other parts of a sentence {often in a series}].

You blew up yourself, your local KFC, and your dream of being a meat-loving martyr.

You have besmirched our cause, betrayed Colonel Sanders, and dashed our hope of obtaining endless complimentary $20 Family Fill Ups and XXL soft drinks.

Dr. Bronner’s army of inveterate vegetarians, vegans, sproutarians and other meat-haters will never be defeated by such acts of gross incompetence.

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Definition courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu). Bracketed text added by Gorgias.