Horismus

Horismus (hor-is’-mus): Providing a clear, brief definition, especially by explaining differences between associated terms.

“Time: Not eternal or forever.” Ever since I was a little boy, I was fascinated by time. My least favorite time was time out when my mother made me sit in the cat’s bed, often for 30 minutes. Now that I’m grown up and serving 12 years in prison for armed robbery, time has taken on a whole new meaning. “Doing Time” is an interesting concept. It reminds me of “making time” with my girlfriend. Doing time and making time are polar opposites of time’s intrusion into our lives, but it’s still time.

Time consciousness is always on duty except when we pass out, go into a coma, or go to sleep; where we may have dreams that trick us into thinking time is present. For me, every once in a while, in dreams, I am a horse winning a race, or a chef boiling an egg, or a sack racer hopping over the finish line in third place. But, it is all an illusion, like time might be.

What absolute proof do have of time’s existence? Chronological instruments, like stopwatches, wall clocks, stopwatches, sundials, and bedside alarm clocks have increments on their faces that are traversed by what are called “hands,” ticking, humming, and in the case of sundials, coursing with apparent movement of the sun. We have longer and shorter days and nights that are actually useless measures of the sun’s daily disappearance and return. The same goes for seasons—we actually feel them on our skin! Isn’t that enough?

The only reason we need time is because our overseers impose it on us. Time is money! Not our money, but their money.

Anyway, after succumbing to the angst my anti-time stance has caused, I’ve decided to give up my “chrono-rebellion.” I realized all this anti-time sentiment comes from my inability to be on time. No matter how hard I’ve tried, I’m always five- ten minutes late. I’ve purchased one of those military-grade watches advertised on Facebook. I’ve also started drinking coffee. Taken together, the watch and the coffee have gotten me down to an average of three minutes early.

This is normal.

My new job is at “Wheelers Jewelry” replacing watch batteries, keeping my fellow humans enslaved to Time.

Definitions courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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