Martyria (mar-tir’-i-a): Confirming something by referring to one’s own experience.
“Been there, done that.” No matter what you told her, Annie’s response was “Been there, done that.” And then she’d tell an anecdote backing it up. At first, it was really interesting, but it got old after around 100 “been theres.” I started dreading talking to her. The first thing I would hear from her after “Been there, done that” would be “that reminds me of the time. . .”
I decided to start making up crazy stuff to see what she’d say. Maybe things would get interesting again. I told her I had flown to school yesterday. I landed in the parking lot and was early for school for the first time in my life. Annie said, “Been there, done that. It reminds me of the time I flew to Toronto.” She grabbed my hand and we took off and flew over Rochester and then Lake Ontario—it was frozen over and lake effect snow was pouring down. I felt like Scrooge being hauled through sky by one of the spirits of Christmas. We got to Toronto and circled the CN Tower. It was awesome, even though I was scared to death. We got back the Brighton, to my house, and landed softly. I was weak-kneed and almost fell down. I said “Wow! That was like finding a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.” Annie said “Been there, done that. That reminds me of the time. . .” Woosh! The end of a rainbow came through my bedroom window, followed by a pot of gold. I cowered in the corner and croaked “Help.”
Annie said, “Don’t worry, I’m your genie. You paid attention to me. You listened to my stories without making fun of me. You are so nice. I may look like a high school senior, but I’m actually thousands of years old. I will invest the gold for you in a hedge fund, you will make billions of dollars, but you won’t remember where it came from, and, nobody will believe you when you tell them about me. I will disappear tonight. You have one wish left. I told Annie I loved her and wanted to be with her forever. She said “Ok.” If she had said, “Been there, done that” I would’ve been heartbroken.
Definitions courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).
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