Ratiocinatio

Ratiocinatio (ra’-ti-o-cin-a’-ti-o): Reasoning (typically with oneself) by asking questions. Sometimes equivalent to anthypophora. More specifically, ratiocinatio can mean making statements, then asking the reason (ratio) for such an affirmation, then answering oneself. In this latter sense ratiocinatiois closely related to aetiologia. [As a questioning strategy, it is also related to erotima {the general term for a rhetorical question}.]

“Why did the chicken cross the road?“ I was holding it by the neck. Its mangled body was oozing giblets and intestines, hanging down and swinging like bloody pendulums. But time had run out for this young chicken, my prize Rhode Island Red, Betty. She had attempted to cross the road. She was run over by a 15-wheeler carrying a load of potatoes from Boise, Idaho to Chicago, Illinois. He didn’t even stop after flattening Betty, making her look like a Hippy wall hanging alongside the white line.

How did this happen? Why did this happen?

Betty has just laid her second egg before she took off across the road. Maybe she felt lighter and faster and just wanted to run. I was settling in on that answer when I saw Cockadoodle, the neighbor’s rooster, strutting up and down the road shoulder, flapping his wings, and crowing.

There it was: Cockadoodle had lured Betty to her death. She was an innocent young hen. She was not wise to the ways of the barnyard. Cockadoodle knew this and killed her. Does Cockadoodle deserve to die? Yes! Most certainly!

I went home and got my flamethrower that I use to burn weeds. Today I would use it to burn a rooster. I brought my dog Thyme to catch Cockadoodle and deliver him to my feet. Everything went well, up until Thyme delivered Cockadoodle to my feet. Cockadoodle ran away. Thyme caught him, and we went through the running away and catching several times, until finally, Thyme bit down hard and killed Cockadoodle. I put the dead rooster in the road where Betty was killed and lit hm on fire.

This is called “Justice.” Right?

Definitions courtesy of “Silva Rhetoricae” (rhetoric.byu.edu).

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